Judge — August 18, 1928 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| liners you will never feel any motior That if most modern house- wives lost the can-opencr they | would be lost. Judging the Shows (Continued from page 19) That colored people often get | themselves deliberately run. over so that they will be taken to the free wards in the hospitals and | there get a lot of delicious white | meat of chicken gratis, That any man who wears the red ribbon of the nof Honor in Paris will be served twice as quickly in a restaurant as any other man, and that on a rainy day a taxi driver will drive him free to any place. that he wishes to however remote, That the the colle basketball are always made up make the teams at of men who couldn't baseball or football teams, | That, if you get a stateroom in the middle of one of the bi That rich people never pay any attention to their babies and that the children grow up caring more for their nurses than for their mothers. That boys who work their way always do so by ttending fur commissions waiting on t getting from laundries, naces or That the baby of a family of acrobatic dancers is smeared with butter, stretched and put through a course of sprouts every night in order to make its body supple. that it may the troupe n time be added to and help. bri EMBARRASSING MOMENTS When you mistake your Bank President for his own butler... be nonchalant . .. light a MURAD. money. That canarics always attract mice. That the hoochie-coochie is so familiar to the gentlemen of Oriental countries that let a girl herself like gs Counterfen” ew 1 couldn't fet hurting” 2 Gen (to obstinate theatre-goer)—Your tickets are not M; will you kindly vacate those seats and go to L? —Everynopy’s Wrekiy comicbooks.com