Judge — August 18, 1928 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE yin A i WHAT ARE_YOU DOING, TAKING A | BATH? QUERIED THE ROAD-GROOM || Hurray! A gag that has some connection with the picture at last!) Tie Wiere-Wines—“‘l friend of mine fell asleep in the bathtub with the water running.” Turn Gext—*And did | | the tub overflow?” Tur Wurre-Winas—“No, luckily my friend | always sleeps with his mouth open!” Not bad, not good—just | LOUSY. “Why don’t you do something, you sap?” “There ain't a thing to do, Janice, but change my bootlegger!” Steak and Stammer Contest Winner Jubilant; ‘Did it for the Kiddies,” Perelman Claim The choice of S, J. Perelman of 177 Matzoh Boulevard, town, Afric ner of the St contest conduct came a ape- Ws first prize win k and Stammer Looby Jeper a surprise to himself and his friends, who have known him for years. The above photo- aph, flashed by wire to New ork, shows for the first time to the outside world the features of the man who called one day at Mrs. Grubnick’s back doorstep with his pots and pans and te inained to dictate that absorbing autobiography which we — now know as “Trader Horn’ This second honor which now falls to him is as unexpeeted as the first. In making their selection, the judges were m or less biased. Two of them, in’ fact, were so heavily biased that they had to be carried to the men’s wash-room and cold water thrown in’ their faces. One of them attempted to smash a window, claiming that it was an old-time enemy of his at college. He was calmed after a few moments by the attendant, who was inclined to attribute the disturba ce to bad ginger ale. From a letter received yester day morning from Mr. P. an, we learn many interesting facts about his early years. It seems he has been ‘a ‘steak-judger all his life and clearly remembers when he won his first: tenderloin for prompt attendance at Sunday school. This steak was shaped like the sole of a boot and tasted a good deal like it; in fact, there was no direct evidence to prove that it was not the sole of a boot. The boy had it made into a wallet which he carries to this d rely as a souvenir, Lowever, he never had anything to really put into it, His next st was a T-bone, which he received in a rather un- usual fashion, He had entered a small French restaurant) named Pierre’s with several friends, all veters about town. — The rr addressed the company in ative tongue (French at which they were dumbfounc 2 ( comicbooks.com