Judge — August 11, 1928 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

netatment No, + of the 1928 American Credo, setting forth still further articles in the funda- mental faith of our fellow citi That most baseball umpires need glasses to see straight. ut college and finishing-school girly are cnor- s consumers of fudge. That parents of six children are worth three times | more to humanity and the nation than parents of one or two children, That certain loopholes, imperceptible to the lay- c deliberately inserted into our laws by clever rressmen so that smart lawyers can keep un tires away from Atlanta, Geor; ‘hat when a policeman looks a crook in the face ook begins to run and so gives himself away. the real Jack-the-Ripper hasn't been caught That, in order to succeed in the world after they have graduated, colleg thing the, rned in college. That a man is w than in a small town, men have to forget every- » lonesome in a crowded city That a fire usually breaks out right after a policy has lapsed because of non-payment of premiums. That salt sprinkled ina vase of fading flowers will promptly revive them. That a stage dance number that has to be explained intelligent than one that tells in the progeam is more its own story, if any. That doctors a nvious of osteopaths and chiro- practors and hence talk against them. That people who have green eye converge have very je or eye-brows that lous dispositions. That wire wound around fresh flowers greatly hastens their ultimate demise. That long, taperin ings, especially profic fingers indicate artistic lean- -ncy in playing the piano. That a receding chin denotes lack of character, and that slim wrists and ankles are a sign of aris- tocracy, ‘That every time a person dies a baby is born. That all light-colored negroes hay of white blood in them. JUDGE By GEORGE JEAN NATHAN That it is easier to forge a Howery, Hourishing si nature than a simple one. That poker players never get up from the game at the time they have set in advance, That a mother whose child is accused of ill-treating other children never believes that her darling is capable such things and t she in ly affirms that her child is weaker than the children he is ac- » kicked or bitten, cused of having seratehe That when a chureh iy destroyed by fire the altar generally escapes unharmed. pwoas large and as fine tre pictured on the packages of s That vegetables do not ¢ as they That if a family lays in a supply of coal, it may be taken for granted that they will not move until the winter is over, That every small town has its town idiot and its Mary. That if a person's e onion, he or she is good-hearted. water while peeling an That garters fall down only when one is walking with one of the opposite impress. sex whom one is trying to That a full moon influences people to walk in their sleep. That many tramps have rich and respectable broth- ers and sisters and that they could have a good home with the latter if they wanted to, but that they persist in roaming because they have had sad love affairs. That drivers of coal wagons, when delivering coal from the I-vard to customers, al homes and take That some ¢ tune that will without worki s stop at their bushel or two for themselves. a street-cleaner can pick up a for able him to live the rest of his life an fathers do not permit their daughters » out at night and that they always call at their ughters’ places of employment to collect the r envelopes. y girls written up in the newspapers as beauties are really a bunch of homely mutts. That the ancient Greeks were all very hot for art, and carried jugs on their heads. That all sailors are very superstitious. (Continued on page 29) comicbooks.com