Judge — July 21, 1928 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Hey, Porra, Get a Loan or Your New I just thought of a joke that's too funny for words—clean “Say, I see b. Jake's shirt’ store burned down “Whose?” asked his slightly deaf wife. was the loud reply. “My goodness, who tore it?” asked the dumb brute. Blokes like that will come to no good end. words, So try to get this one: Made-to-Order Heavens | The Poet's My Heaven is a lovely nook that’s built’ beside a babbling brook where birdies chirp within the trees and flowers’ fragrance fills the breeze. In this, the fair- est of all climes, I never have to grope for rhymes. I always have the wherewithal to rent a room just off the hall, I sell my pomes, the checks flow in to buy me quarts and quarts of gin. I toot my flute, I strike my lyre—my efforts find a waiting buyer. My rippling meter smoothly trips— I get no rude rejection slips. And all the pomes I've dearly prized are praised and then an- thologized. I make “Who's Who” my lot to leaven . oh, this indeed’s a Poet's Heaven! Davairer-1n-Law! the paper that “Jake's shirt store Shades of Jack Dempsey and Babe Ruth The newspaper syndicate was dickering with the fellow who had just become famous. They wanted his writings—his life story and his daily opinions on things in general. Remuneration and other details had been agreed upon and the deal was about to be consum- mated, when a hitch developed. It seems there had been a slight misunderstanding the part of the celebrity in the matter of one small detail. They wanted it one way and he insisted on the other. “Lookit the money in it for you,” they coaxed. “Think of the advertising—it will keep you con- stantly in the public eye.” But he was adamant. They cajoled him further, but to no avail, At one time it looked as if the deal would fall through. They considered him unreason- able, but because he was so very famous, they stretched the point and gave in to him, And so he won his point. It was unusual, but perhaps the public would not be aware of it. Besides, nobody would believe it, even if the fact be ne known, And so they let him actually write his own stuff! —R. C. O. Transatrantic Frver—I wish I’d took a steamer... this is a hell of a way to see the Folies Bergere!! comicbooks.com