Judge — July 21, 1928 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A Gentleman in the Case Sea Story. By Dr. Seuss Like my predecessor, Colum- bus. [owas born in Genoa, and found business very, very indeed. Day after day 1 slaved away ina shoe factory, acing up new shoes with old tough strings of cast-off spaghetti. Here was of merchandise for fair. . . No wonder I longed for America, with its religious, so- cial and economic honesty! — 1 languished like a bird in a cage. Then one day in the back yard of the factory my eye fell upon one of those six-foot packing boxes in which the steel wool comes with which we line our shoes. I remembered how once a sored gentleman had smug- gled himself into America in a one-foot box, and I realized that here indeed we Great American Voyage. How mucha thesa box?” I asked the factory superintendent in Italian. . a lira,” was his rock-bot- tom price. I closed the bargain, But as this was just twice as ed to pay, I de- termined to defray the expenses by dividing it into two compart- ments and taking fellow tenant. After selecting the ship on which I was to smuggle myself and my companion, I advertised in the ily papers for the com- panion, wording the at enigmatically, lest the customs of- ficials ©: my cabin for my much as I inte 1 somew ch on, anted,” my ad read, “to oceupy second floor of sea- going bachelor apt. Unfurnished No dogs. Ten-day lease, three Roomer i lira. My hopes, materialize. however, did not Only one applicant and as this was a woman, my fine Italian sense of decorum forced me to turn her down flatly. It was her reputa- tion I was thinking of. On the morn of embarkment the extra room was still unrented, so I had to sail with it empty. I snuggled up cosily in) my new “home,” my brother nailed the cover down, and with the aid of my little sister, he carried the crate aboard ship. t the gang-plank the captain stopped us, raising one eyebrow showed up, in suspicion, But Brother Guil- liano rose magnificently to the oe- easion, “For the deck sports,” he ex- plained, prompted by a lightning “A box of sand marksmen to against.” (Leave it to Guilly to know that the Olympic rifle team was aboard!) So the captain let They planked me down upon the top deck and wished me all sorts of heartfelt speed. But not until they had dup targets all over the box to make their story hold. shoot Us pass. A most eventful voyage ensued. That is, at night.” The days. frankly, were boresome. 1 lay there, curled up for ten days, lis- tening to the marksmen’s bullets whistle through the top compart- ment. Fortunately for me, my brother had nailed most of the targets high, and [was struck only fifteen or sixteen times dur. ing the trip, most of the wounds being of a superficial nature. Sea sickness I suffered but seldom, and my exercise consisted mainly of executing simple clog and soft- shoe steps upon the cciling when tie rattle of the musketry w sufficient to cover up the noise. My mind [ kept alert by holding spelling bees with my six imagi- nary roommates, Ludovico, Dona- tello, Benvenuto, Bratiano, Ben and Casper. But all this, divert- ing as it was, was dull in com- parison with those long intrigu- ing nights of ror nee. — IT fellin love! Tnever saw her, but fromm her veice TP yather that Fickle? Per- r fekleness was tien of her virre. Every night she woud ce there with a different man and make love to him as they sat smu she was a stunner. Bat h only another ir overwhelming joie do against my crate in the invisible reon- light. Her fickleness only tended to torture my desires all the more and to cause my love to soar and transcend itself a thousandfold. And all the while she would kiss the other fellow. Many times I would sob aloud and call her soft- ly name, but Gertrude (her name) would think it was her es- cort: callin nd he the sweet reward, would reap And so on, night after night, until I knew that no one cer had loved like 1. It was with doubled thrill that To heard the drop at last in N. In another hour Tow free to incet this maiden face to face! TL knew for sure that once she saw ime, she would Oh, happy fellow, I, when T felt myself hoisted up. My crate was earricd to the cus toms. office. “What's in this box? fieious vo love me, too, asked an chilling: my mar- w with momentary fear, “Only voice, another need to open it at all.” My spirit soared and lilted. | And then, as if so arr. 1 by fate. LT heard sweet) Gertrude’s voice, The lovely girl was stand ing by my very side! T eould not sand,” said restrain inyself. rtie!” I hummed out softly. her startled ve came back. his I... the guy in the box,” T answered. “Put dress on a slip of it through the crac But before she could do so, the customs official had caught en. In the morning I was on my way hack to Italy. Once more I am working in the Genoese factory... more un happy than ever. For I know that somewhere in that vast Amer- ica to the west waits Gertrude, my unseen sweet. > United States Customs Dept. has added another brace of broken hearts to its in- human record of shame. yur ad 1 shove comicbooks.com ——