Judge, 1928-07-14 · page 13 of 36
Judge — July 14, 1928 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine piece satirizes a mudslinging political speech delivered at a deaf-mute institute—itself absurd, since the audience cannot hear. The speaker makes increasingly ridiculous accusations against political rivals. **Key Targets:** - **Herbert Hoover**: Mocked for "Hoover" vacuum cleaners and accused of owning Siberian salt mines, supposedly profiting from wartime salt hoarding - **Will Rogers**: The Life Extension Institute's candidate, allegedly backed by Henry Ford (who needs rope to tow cars—a nonsensical conspiracy) - **Al Smith**: The main target, attacked as the Pope's choice, with claims the Pope will move into the White House if Smith wins, and that Smith's Roman nose was surgically altered by Vatican orders **The Satire:** The speaker's logic is deliberately absurd—puns, non-sequiturs, and wild accusations—mocking how politicians make baseless character attacks while claiming the moral high ground. The setting at a deaf-mute institute adds ironic commentary: the candidate is literally speaking to those who cannot respond or hold him accountable. This reflects 1920s anti-Catholic sentiment and 1928 presidential campaign anxieties about Smith's religion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WIGH High Hat Candidate Starts Mudslinging Campaign in Speech Made at Deaf Mute Institute, Staten Island My friends, I stand be tonight a very sad man! (Cheers.) My political enemies have ght out and insinervated that I am backed by the liquor interests! (Cheers.) TL thought, indeed I had hoped, that this campaign a clean one, that there no low mud slinging! yre you come was to be would be But, alas, once a politician always d, Yon- and as Plutarch s “When in Yonkers do as the kerians do!” Therefore, my friends, I will give you a little in- side dope on these lowlifes: who a politician, are trying to malign my charac- ter! Remember, they that started it, « live in glass houses should remem- her that a rolling stone gathers no moss! (Cheers.) Take Hoover, for instance. What's the first thing you think of when vou think of Hoover? A vacuum! And the slogan, “Hoover gets the dirt! Ww es that y friends? Dirt is just another name for anoney! Which proves conclusively that the mon ied interests are behind Hoover! ( Cheers.) But that isn’t all, my friends! If you will remember, Hoover, re the ones people who n, my Swen At AMUN ddd INN, \ NY during the war, was behind the Does that movement to buy salt! mean anything to you, my friends? Well, I will tell you! Hoover owns the Siberian salt mines! All the salt, collected and hoearded during the war, was s : ered up by his nts and shipped !) That is friends, you are new payit to Russia why, my such exorbitant prices for salt! Would you want a man like that to be President of this great and glori No! A thousand ous country ? times n Take Will Rogers, the ¢ date put forward by the L Ex- tension Insti ! Anybody with half an eve can see that he is backed by the 1 Trust! And that’s no joke! Henry Ford is for him, Why? Because Ford needs rope to tow his cars! If he will be able yet rope ically noth- ing! In fact, Pl give him a piece now if he'll use it the way T sus- rs is elec for prac (Cheers.) seen Why is Rogers a cigar? But have friends, this candi- is already at the end of his The Rope no f ‘Trust again! r omy “ re The man to fear is AL Smitl the Papal’s choice! Senator Het lin is right! The Pope has his tranks all packed. ready to move inte the White House the Smith is elected! You don't be- lieve this? Listen, my friends! Why is this Italian flyer at Curtis Field, waitin a non-stop flight to Row Why, to take the that Smith is elected to © of course! Why has Al Smith Task you! It was reshaped that way by plas minute Roman nose, tie surgery at the Pope's request ! You have all heard of the St. Louis Cardinals! Do you know why they were nicknamed the Cardin: Al Smith gave them that name! And it’s in. the that they are going to win the pennant! You have all heard of those magazines, “TL Confess “True friends, both of them: are by AL Smith! What more proof n you need, my friends, that Al th is backed by the Pope him nd Well, my owned Confessions.” Think hard, my ist your friends, before te for cither of (Continued on page 26) comicbooks.com