Judge — June 16, 1928 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE CUTTING OF THE WEDDING CNOUTH or, Divorce Among the Druids By Dr. Seuss There was one particular period in the era of the Druids when these good fellows worshipped Sulky Dogs. At other periods, of course, they worshipped different things, for they were very vers tile first it was pine-needle then it was an old bit of whale bone out of a corset that had washed ashore after a French ex- cursion boat had gone on the rocks; after this they worshipped echoes; while at still another time it was buttered popcorn with lots of salt. But at this particular period the Druids would bow down to nothing but Sulky Dogs. Every temple and shrine was a veritable pound. Every private home had at least one household dog perching gloomily upon the mantelpiece. And this is why (according to Calkins and Oli- phant’s Druidiana) there were so very divorces at this st of their civilization, With a sulky dog grumbling and grousing around the house from morning ee { GY ws = ay Ky I:u-Tempernp Goor—Darn it! till night, what could one expec Soon the divorce epidemic grew to such serious proportions that the high priest, Sceolothan, real- ized that only drastic action could save his flock from impending chaos, So the white-bearded old codger designed and put into op- eration a form of “Cygeelh” (Di- vorce Court) which to this day has never been surpassed. The above diagram illustrates this, the only practical system of divorce procedure the world has ever known. Mr. and Mrs. P. Dipthong Fraeng, Druid Suburbanites, have ceased to find mutual satisfaction in the holy state of Cealfru, as it was then so aptly put. Fraeng, a traveling man, suspects that his wife has not been especially con cerned with fidelity during his ab- sences, a fact which may be true, but more than likely is just a product of his dog-distraught im agination. Having donned the traditional “Jacket of the Broken Heart,” he has encased his head in one end of the Wedding Cnouth in which they were we His wife, having stuck her head into the other orifice of this to-us- unusual hat, has accompanied him to the Bowl of “Sacred Soap and in which they are sym ally “washing their hands of the whole affair.” Beside them sulks their household deity, his ears draped in the official denim. The gentleman with the hedge- clippers is, of cour: ‘olothan himself. With his eyes securely (Continued on page 2+) \ (Cam ® Wren COUN When will I learn not to try to slam a revolving door! comicbooks.com