Judge, 1928-06-09 · page 4 of 36
Judge — June 9, 1928 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis This page contains a **Graduation Address by Dean Gunga**, a humorous speech delivered to graduating students at "Old Hooey" (a fictitious college). The satire is directed at both the institution and the graduating class. The dean's humor mocks: - **Student behavior**: describing four years of "skelecing and necking," vandalism ("initials carved all over"), and property damage (broken windows in Professor Burpee's study) - **The diplomas themselves**: sarcastically suggesting graduates throw them away since they're worthless - **Student dishonesty**: references to unpaid bills and implied criminal futures ("young convicts escape jail") - **Academic pretense**: the entire address deflates the solemnity of graduation The joke assumes readers recognize this as satirizing both pretentious academia and rowdy college student culture—common Judge magazine targets. The address is intentionally cynical, suggesting higher education produces mischievous rather than upstanding citizens.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GRADUATION ADDRESS By Dean Gunga Loyal sons and daughters of Old Hovey, as 1 stand before yon today, on this auspicious occasion look into your bright pimply faces, it reminds me of a story which [won't tell as I’m just ay anxious to get rid of you fatfoots as you are to go. If [never see your fatuous faces again it be too soon, For four long weary years you have been ukeleleing and necking around this campus and now it’s up to your mothers and fathers to stand you for a while. For four long dreary years you've sat in our classrooms, in our dormitories, in our dining rooms, in our halls, in our fraternity houses, on our fences. ‘That's all you've dor four long dreary years—sat! Now you can sit on your parents! Or ona park bench. See if I care! Those ribbon bedecked diplomas which you hold in your big hams, you may as well throw in the corner as you go out they won't do you a bit of good, and we can use them to start the fires with next fall. You might also throw in the same corner any school p' in your pockets! From the stuff that is missing around he see that some of you lowlifes intend to open stationery you get out. And while I'm on the subject there are quite a Small bills which you haven't paid yet! But, my dear boys and girls, we will always miss you here Old Hovey! From the initials that you have carved all over the buildings to the broken windows in Professor Burpec’s study! How your young innocent faces! And if we should forget (God willing!) it will be easy to revive our memory ina few years by -k glance through the rogue’s gallery. [f any of yeu young convicts eseape jail it will be because you become policemen or bootleggers! So, my dear dumb pupils, it is indeed with deep regret (Ha! Ha! Ha!) that I see you leave these famous old halls and it is with intense surprise that I see you leave them standing! So, God speed you, boys and girls and [ hope you all break a leg! comicbooks.com