Judge — May 19, 1928 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

he would always he out when important persons call d. a change of linen, Twas, I must 1 sped to Washington. I knew that Herbert) Hoover wlinit, thoroughly fatigued. 1 did would be very glad to mect me, because I had been a food Z not. however, for one moment relax hoarder during the War. I am the man who bought and S in my devotion to duty. hoarded two barrels of salt. I knew Hoover would be in C I had expected to withstand the terested to learn that, as my butler tells me, we still have 2? hardships of an overland journey a barrel and a half left. I passed smoothly from one to another of Hoover's secretaries, answering their cager into the great West, in order to sev this Lowden, this Donahey and this Meredith. I had the good fortune, however, to run into a rather shabby man on Pennsylvania Avenue. I dis- covered him to be what he vulgarly defined as “just an old-fashioned re- porter.” [could tell, by the very common way he had of asking direct questions, that he was indeed one of those crude “newspaper men” who cke out a meagre existence by gath- ering and transmitting merely fac- tual material, I told him, in all kind- ness, as much as he seemed able to understand, I must, however, “hand it to hir as he would say in the argot of his trade. I was never so surprised in Vice-President Dawes was taking a nap my life as when he said, “Hack there isn’t a doubt that you yourself are the only man fit to be President, boyish questions about other presidential candidates, I, and that you will be elected.” to put it plainly, so fascinated them that they quite I confess, to be utterly sincere, that the idea had forgot to usher me into the office of the man whom they never entered my head, but that it struck me as abso dotingly call “the Chief.” 1 finally went y after lutely sound. 1, therefore, hastened back to my Editor extracting their promise to tell him all that I had said. and outlined the result of my painstaking investigations, I went over to the Senate to see Tom Walsh, I was, T am glad to say that he agreed, wrote me out a check to be outspoken, curious to learn how he keeps his for 000 in advance payment for this article, and mustache out of his coffee. I have been told by my here it is. valet that I should grow just suc t, with full knowledge of the fact that it ated hy the odor of oil in this that [ shall have to meet all sorts of very ordina Walsh's office that I was forced to leave without saying people, the Presidency of the United States, a word to him. I dropped in on Senator Curtis, I was horrified to recall, just as I went in, that he has Indian blood in his veins, I if nothing else—and how much else I am you can find out by reading the Editor's blurb—I am, To sa 100-percent: Ame I could hardly afford to have it on my record that I had spoken to a non-Nord I had Sens would appree a mustache myself. Tac I was, however, so na r Reed of Missouri in mind as one who te my including him in my visits. I entered his door just in time to hear him shout loudly, “Throw the rascals out!’ I, to be meticulous, have risen to great heights in my profession by never taking nce on being thrown out. I turned on my heel and ay, sneering. I looked in on Vice-President Dawes, but was told that he was taking a nap. 1 have never, in my years of authorship, disturbed anybody who was taking a nap, not even one of iy readers. I went all the way over to the House to see Speaker Nicholas Longworth, I saw him in the chair, pounding away with a big gavel and so obviously having a lovely time doing it that I did not have the heart to interrupt him. I've been like that ever since infaney when a zhty boy hit me over the head with a hammer when I spoke to him, I am told that this Lo orth is a jovial fellow, but, again, why take a chance? I had now tramped through several hundred yards of “There isn't a doubt that you yourself are the only corridors. I had gone several hours without a bath and man fit to be President!” comicbooks.com