Judge — April 21, 1928 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How Arthur’s Gobs Will Check ye Yellow Peril ODAY hath been Defense Day, and all of Camelot is madly patriotic. Ye Knyghts have marched parading through the streets fully fifty times, as have ye Veterans of ye Foreign Wars. Ye Campfire Girls have | donated a grindstone to Kyng Arthur to keep Excalibur, his sword, forever sharp. And there hath been a castle-to-castle can- vass of the town to raise Ye Nickel-Polish Fund to keep his kingly armour ever bright. But best of all, ye members of ye Table Round today did vote three score and fifteen pounds and twenty shillings toward the building of new men-of-war. Kyng Arthur later said, in speak- ing to ye members of ye press, “Though I steadfastly do believe that armaments should be cut down and not increased, I am forced into this against my will. By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss As goode Sir Ran- dolf Hearst hath often said, we must protect ourselves against the Japs!” And so our foxy kyng showed them charts and draw- ings of divers men- of-wars and spoke as follows: "Ye Figure A doth represent ye Chaser of ye Subs. Our enemies do have a lot of churls named “subs” JUDGE and , Translated from Merlin's Memoirs they do swim about beneath ye waves and bore big holes into our ships with gimlets. But no more shall they get away with this. Sir Brumby he shall hunt them down with this new boat, the one-horse tread- mill chaser (patent pend- ing). And as for vessels of the offense, there will be ye twelve- pound boulder tosser (which is in Figure B). This ship is operated by a crew of two, ye Yokel and ye Yokel’s Mate. Ye Yokel, dressed in extra- heavy armour, leaping down upon ye spring. board can sometimes throw a rock for half a mile. This death-distributing device, 1 ween, is far the most de- structive instrument the world hath known since ye invention of brass knuckles, in ye year 521 A. D.” ¢, Then a pessimistic gent x. did say unto Kyng Arthur, ry (Continued on page 25) comicbooks.com