Judge — April 14, 1928 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A Married Man’s Godsend Tor amongst the reading ele- ment of us who keep our hand on the pulse of public af- fairs through the daily prints will doubtlessly be interested in a novel invention recently patented in Washington by n named Lothar Zwieback, a rm I believe, but who fought on our side during the late conflict and thus cannot be accused of being an enemy spy. Zwieback is of a natural retiring disposition and rarely appears nude in public, a fact which makes it incumber on me to say a few words on his in- vention, known to most of us as aA 's Folly.” This discovery is intended ex clusively for the benefit of tired married men, and according to statistics obtained from the U. S. Bureau of Hatcheries, why there are at present over five million tired husbands in our borders. With this view in end, Mr. Zwie- back has designed and perfected “Zwieback’s Boon,” so that all these weary providers could take a well-earned respite. As shown in the colored photo- graph above, the Zwieback Hus- hand's Rest-Machine consists of two tubs, between which — is mounted a small appliance con- trolled by a handle. ‘This latter appliance Mr. Zwieback has termed a “wringer” after his eld- est bov, Patsy, that has been playing semi-pro bush-ball at Bayliss High for the past year. Zwieback's Folly The manner in which the entire contrivance operates is extremely simple, and I would pass over it except that the monitor just let in three foreigners, Armenoids or Turks or something which do not understand the English tongue so well, and consequently Twill strive to be more implicit. First one of the tubs is filled with a good soapy solution of water and soap. | Into. this is dumped a pile of soiled clothes which has heen collected by your wife in the neighborhood. Then your wife (who is expected to » this, it is so simple or small child could do it) ruby these linen vigorously to and fro on a washboard setting in the soapy brine until thorough- The deep breathing champs go into the vacuum cleaning business. ly cleansed. She then would pass the dainty underthings through the “wringer,” from whence they would issue into the second tub filled with clean water. She now gathers the finished products and hangs them on a clothes-line with Zwieback's Little Giant Clothes- Pins. After exposure to sun and air, she irons them out neatly and delivers them to their owner, charging a small fee at the same time. Mr. Zwieback has tried out this machine with his wife's aid for the last two years and states that it works "perfectly. He often sits in the kitchen with trusty briar pipe clamped in his teeth and reading the Sunday papers, now and then pausing to shout a word of good cheer and encouragement to his spouse. In this way Mr. Zwicback finds it possible for him to support. the family at a nominal cost to him- self, merely the price of a Sun- day paper and a small tin. of shag. Lest some wives who are nat- urally indolent and inclined to sleep late mornings do not take readily to this healthful exercise, he has also invented a side ac- cessory which he calls a “man- It is shaped like a small whip and whenever the lazy help- mate would show an inclination to shirk her duties, then Mr. Zwieback would dust off the back of her neck with this harmless toy. This bracing stimulant will “Sponging off the Old Man.” comicbooks.com 7