Judge — April 14, 1928 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE (N= (= HOW LAUNCELOT DID PULL A FAST ONE ON THE KYNG T came to pass that one day while ye knyghts were at their business meetyng, the talk some- how did get around to dragons. "Now that reminds me,” suddenly said Sir Geraint. "Last Monday eve I came home to mine house to find that dragons had been there and snaked away mine pretty wife.” And hearing this, the others grew excited. For dragons had not come to Camelot for more than four score years. 1 gentle sport, forsooth Then uprose ye cagey Launcelot. “All bunk aside, mine friends,” quoth he, “there really be @ flock of hungry dragons snaking around these parts. And they have really carried off some nifty dames. For instance .. . they have snatched our Bar Maid Lou!” "What!" yelled the knyghts as one. "Our Bar Maid Lou, the blonde, is snaked away! To arms! To arms!” And with a mighty rattle and a bang they snatched their swords and stormed out to the Dragon Practise Field, behind ye tennis courts. Here Arthur keeps a kindly dragon, Joe by name, whose manners mild are safe and quite beyond reproach. He is a pleasaunt beast who cateth naught but ice-cream soda. And he doth hold a dummy maiden 'twixt his paws, pretending he hath caught her. And one by one the knyghts do take a rubber lance and joust with him. A gentle Translated from Merlin’s Memoirs By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss sport, forsooth, but really darn goode practice. This day the knyghts did practise with great vim, and. finally the kyng did call a stop. “Enough!” quoth he. “Let us be off to slay the scaly wretch who stole our Lou away!” And every knyght did drop his rubber spear, and took up sharp and burnished stecl. “Hey! Hey!” they shouted, as they sprang to horse. When they had ridden half a mile beyond the walls of town, Sir Launcelot sought out the kyng. Spake he, “Oh, gee, m’Lord! I have forgotten mine spectacles, without the which I cannot tell 2 dragon from an airedale. I'll dash right home and fetch em.” And so he wheeled his nag about and hurried back. And though Kyng Arthur's knyghts did search for dragons high and low for thirty days, Sir Launcelot did not rejoin them. Nor did they spy a single dragon. For Launcelot had put a fast one over on the kyng. He had payed Bar Maid Lou, the blonde, two bits a day for every day she hid. And for thirty days Sir Launcelot made goo-goo cyes at Arthur's wife, the queen, without the least disturbance. A bad knyght this Sir Launcelot and een a snake in ye grasse. “T have forgot mine spectactes” comicbooks.com