Judge — April 7, 1928 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SENATOR HEFLIN AND THE PRESIDENCY A Superstitious Forecast, by Dr. Theophrastus Seuss There is no doubt in my mind but what Senator Heflin of Ali hama will win. the nemination, But how do IT knew, vou a Democratic that he really is going to get the nomination? Its superstition But it’s an intelligent superstit superstition plus an accurate knowledge of history. Consider, for Confucius incident. Everybods knows, for exa » that Con But why I have examined the fueins died in stop there? Diagram No. 2 facts and have discovered that one afternoon, less than a week after he died, his elder brother, who was at that time well- known lawyer in Shanghai, deter- mined to plant a tree to his memory. So he got out the family trowel and planted him a stalwart young green Eiderdown. Just as he was putting it into the ground, a strange red bird stuck his head out of the foliage and spoke to a puppy dog who, I have neglected to mention, hap- pened to be seated upon the “Quick, a man just fell in the reservoir!” “That's all right; I never drink water.” Diagram No. t small of Confucius’ brothe back. What did the bird sa: He said (and very distinctly, too) the one word, “NILFEH!" What of it?) Just spell “NILPEH" backwards! The other two illustrations also picture convincing historical fore- casts of Senator Heflin’s impend- ing landslide. Let us take illus- tration No, 2. During the War of the Revolution, when hope was dim and night was at. its darkest for the Colonists, who you must remember were fighting for independence from the Eng- lish, one morning just before luncheon was to be served in the British camp, a young American patriot sneaked up to General Cornwallis disguised as a Shet- land pony. Although his ruse was immediately seen through and he was hung as a spy, he was brave HOW ABOUT ALITTLE WEIN, WEB, AND GESANG ? SUGGESTED OTTO A German waiter addresses the college girl. “Wasser?” he inquires. “Er—no, Wellesley!” is the retort. Watch the grosses rocket when they hear you pull this, Schnozzola, te the best and last words were dhed game.” Hh somewhat indis linet, but an eyewitness an my mother’s side says that new that she thinks it over they might have been, “Heflin in 1928! Hither that, or “Gentlemen, hang my body you may, but my immortal But the former, soul goes marching on.” chances are it was th [lustration 3 needs little ex planation. [Lt shows Jules Verne and his submarine beagle, Flip, Diagram No, 3 working out in the English Chan- nel. “One man thus garbed,” Mr. Verne used to say, “could bomb the city of Constantinople and duck out of sight before the Turks knew what was w Mr. Verne thrice applied for a patent on this device, but as it infringed somewhat on certain Singer Sewing Machine acces- sories, he never had any success. But his loss is Senator Heflin’s gain. There's not a doubt in the world; he'll make the best presi- dent we've ever had. First Eptson Emproyee The boss looks unhappy, he's going on a vacation without Henry Ford and Harvey Fire- stone. comicbooks.com