Judge — March 31, 1928 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Yes, I Would This essay, entered in the “What the Anti-Saloon League of Amer ica Means to Me,” or may not make the judges open their eyes.) Now, if I were Calvin Cool idge, Pd learn to roll a fat cigar from one side of my mouth to the other, cultivate the habit of hooki round my suspenders, and practice teeter ing on the balls of my feet. And on Sunday afternoons Td pull a ifortable rocking onto ne oof the White House porti sand sit there with Mrs. Cool contest, may omy. thumbs chair idge watching the crowd If tor Heflin came alo Id pretend [didn’t see him. when that mad and he Fg “or somethin vell, “Aw, join the marines see Alabama,” ook out P. Morgan’s under vour bed.” Then if Prank howed Id midd de ided Sdades. That him split his sides made him bellowed like that, Thane from would make If Senator Borah was out horse and came around our way Vd sing, “Horses, horses, horses” in a shrill voice, and when the distinguished — gentleman — from Idaho looked. I'd) point to. the first lady of the land and make she had done it. I can picture his amusement and him believe hers. Of course, Charlic Dawes would get a big laugh out of it if Lo turned my chair upside down, mounted it-and did a Paul Revere pantomime for his benefit. And [can envision the natured grin on Senator face when LT shouted. Calles, how much you ps After that, if To were Calvin Coolidge, I'd go into the White House kitchen, fileh acl leg out of the refrigerator, and turn on the radio. —Grnarv Coscnove, age Ys Becky is so dumb she thinks a census-taker is a slot-machine. JUDGE Vorer From rie who says that American men are by their wamenfolk, VFroon—Here's a bird dominated “What ye goin’ to da with th? Prothition Officer?” “Goin’ to have him stuffed. idermy.” ws stud yin’ tar comicbooks.com