Judge — March 24, 1928 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Te JUDGE Bon Voyage once upon a time au and his wife took southern cruise and they didnt arrive in new york a few ys before so he could xet a linen suit and look after the baggage and they purpos got their reservations at the last minute so their names wouldnt appear on the passenger list alright kenneth uncle jack will Ladies and gentlemen, the next number is not intended for dancing. I and the wife, a Mrs, Throgmorton of Esser Street, Wales w re motoring through en we ran over a butcher's boy carrying a bas- ket. “Heavens, are you hurt?” inquired the frightened spouse. “Ah dunno, ma'am,” returned the fisher boy, “but where are my kidneys?” — Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned this one. Suggested motor those who wait while you go out and they didnt print’ the encyclopedia on their baggage wrote in ordi ws they just y owriting and when instructions read have your trunks on the dock 9.30. they knew better and had them there at 11 o'clock and the boat sailed at 12 so they got there at 1 and not 10 and the wife wasnt wear ing a corsage and he wasnt carry- ing a steamer rug and a pair of binoculars and nobody was there to see them off and say bon voy- age i hope you dont get seasick and itl do you both a world of good my dear and youll come hack all tanned up and be sure and write and they didn't drop in at the pursers office to get any information or anything and they found their stateroom without asking the room steward and not one single picce of bag; was missing and there were no bas kets of fruit or flowers or dusty answer or a cabin party drinking out of a soap dish before the boat left and a mysterious woman in black wasnt sitting noncha lantly in a deck chair and gazing out to sea through a veil hours before sailing time and when the stewards called all ashore thats goin ashore there were no tears no last minute instructions no hankies no mad. serambling for the gang plank and the man and design guaranteed to suit all insist on riding up front, his wife didnt sit right down and read all their steamer letters at and then try all before the boat reached staten island and when the dining r steward said youre at the first once answer them om “Hitch your wagon to a star,” will be the 1950 slogan for petting parkers. sitting they didnt think he was talking about an indian chief and when the deck steward asked them if they wanted to go in the ships pool they didnt think he was talking about a bath and there you are my little land Iub- hers and now up to bed and an extra blanket for each of you or uncle jack will put the lid down on any more fairy stories —Jack Crvetr comicbooks.com