Judge, 1928-02-18 · page 24 of 36
Judge — February 18, 1928 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous column by "Dr. Theophrastus Seuss" (likely pseudonymous) uses absurdist animal stories to satirize human behavior and social pretensions. **The satire:** - **Philip Rice story**: Mocks English upper-class rudeness by describing even trained sea-lions adopting crude dining manners (feeding pets with slingshots) - **Baumtree/Schults anecdote**: Ridicules social awkwardness—a woman's violent hat-pin jab distracts guests, yet the narrator calls sea-lions "practical" (ironic understatement) - **"Baby-Washing" ad**: Parodies absurd commercial solutions, advertising seals as babysitters while mothers wash dishes - **Miss Luden story**: Gentle mockery of sentimental animal-rights activists who adopt performative ethics (refusing seal coats) while seals follow them like groupies The humor relies on treating animals as stand-ins for human follies—pretension, rudeness, and sentimentality—with deadpan delivery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE BOIDS AND BEAST (A Department for In- Conducted by the Eminent defatigable Naturalists Dr. Theophrastus Seuss.) KEDEES ie es ce AEA n= SS Philip Rice, the sea- lion connoisseur, and his protege Raymond, a sea- lion of six, went to Eng- land to study the man- ners of that land. “The London sea-lions have no manners at all,” said Mr. Rice, “Even Vis- count B—— feeds his pet from across the table with a sling shot.” Mr. Baumtree (with cigar) asked Mr. The great Baby-Washing problem has been Schults Tto stay; to supper. ~ Mrs. |B. Solved!” We furnish seals for all the best ma- (off-stage) shoved Guido, the sea-lion, ternity hospitals in America. They amuse the Into the room and jabbed him with her baby while you wash it. And you can throw hat-pin. Guldo's howl completely di- away your soap dish. They balance the soap on verted Mr. Schults’s mind from what their nose! Send $400.00 and we'll send you the was being said. Say what you will, seal. (Advt.) a sea-lion is practical. Here, we have Miss Jennie Luden, of Toronto, Ontario, who is vice-pres. and sec’y. of the Seal Savers Society of that city. This organization is made up of tender-hearted ladies who never wear a seal skin coat. “Why should the little fellows die on our account?” asks Miss Luden. “They never did us any harm.” The Toronto seals as a mark of gratitude fol- low her everywhere. comicbooks.com