Judge, 1928-01-28 · page 10 of 36
Judge — January 28, 1928 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains two satirical pieces from Judge magazine: **"In Nicaragua"** (top): A single-panel cartoon referencing Charles Lindbergh's goodwill aviation tour. A Marine spotter identifies an airplane as "Lindbergh, the good-will flyer" to a companion—likely satirizing Lindbergh's celebrity status and the publicity surrounding his flights. **"Guilty or Not Guilty"** (main story): A darkly humorous courtroom narrative where a woman murders her parents and is acquitted. The satire targets both weight-obsession culture and the absurdity of "justifiable homicide" verdicts. Her stated grievance—that her parents called her "Tiny" despite weighing 300 pounds—is presented as supposedly reasonable justification. The courtroom cheers the "not guilty" verdict, mocking public sentimentality and courtroom logic. **"Reversing the Calendar"** (right): A brief poem where an elderly woman nostalgically laments the sexual restraint of her youth, asking time to return so she can experience the romantic freedoms she missed—satire of generational prudishness and regret.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—————————S——————_—— JUDGE In Nicaracua Marine—IWWho's that? “That's Lindbergh, the good-will flyer.” Guilty or Not Guilty Slowly the prisoner heaved herself out of her chair and stood erect, a huge mountain of a woman—who had murdered both of her doting parents. “Your Honor,” she began in a cultured voice, “when you have heard my story you will admit that I was justified——" Here she had to wait till the judge quelled a hostile demonstration. Then: “On July 20th,” she went on, “I killed them.” Cries of “Monster!” rang through the room, but her calm voice did not falter. “For on that day I stepped on the bathroom scales to find that I weighed three hundred pounds! At that ter- tible moment they called me to dinner, the two of them, using a nickname that they had fastened on me when I was a helpless child. ‘Hurry!’ said Mether, ‘it's roast pork and mashed po- tato!’ And Father added: ‘Straw- berry short-cake and whipped cream! “Suddenly my mind was made up. I crept down through the hall, uprooting the radiator as I passed. Armed only with this and the justice of my cause I entered the dining-room. I hit Mother first—she always came first with me—and then before Father, who was rather slow- witted, had realized something was wrong I knocked him cold with the same weapon. “You want to know why I did it?” she asked as the court-room sat in silence, stunned by the brutality of her story. “I will tell you. It was not enough that those two were calling me to dine on roast pork and short-cake and cream when I should have been nibbling on a lettuce leaf and an unsweetened prune—I who weighed three hundred pounds !—But the nickname they called me by was She choked back a sob, her, chins and mammoth shoulders shaking in unison: ‘“—that TINY!” nickname was Without leaving the box the jurymen held a short consulta- tion; then the foreman stood up, his face etherealized by pity. “Your Hono! he said in a broken voice, “we have reached an unanimous verdict. It was justifiable homicide, and we find the prisoner NOT GUILTY!" And never in the history of that court-room had such cheers been heard. —Manian Pace Jounson Reversing the Calendar Grandma one ¢ Talking of present and past; Telling of people when she was girl, Saying that they weren't fast. sat sitting and talking “We didn't do things the girls do today, We hardly ever were kissed; Backward, turn backward, O Time in thy flight; Gimme the things that 1 missed.” —R. C. O. comicbooks.com