Judge — January 14, 1928 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Take Off the Topper I am so tired of snooty and snobby Ads; “Soap of Distinction” — and “Coal for the Few.” Floor-mops presented in’ Ritay and nobby Ads, “Gum for the Proudly Patri- cian to Chew"; “Vacuum Cleaners” for Queens of Society” Washing machines in the “Dernier Mode” Lard of the “Ultra Exclusive Variety.” “Skillets de Lux for Milady’s Abode.” I'm growing weary of back Se grounds of palaces Meptevan Tenant—Darn it all, another Dragon. And just (Used for an Ad of Rat after I'd sprayed the whole castle with Flit! Poison that Kills) , Tables all sparkling with goblets like chalices (Ad for McGinniss’s Calomel Pills), “Body by Whosis"—and no body visible, “Wheels by Youtellem"—and nary a wheel: Honestly, are they not utterly risible, Hiding the goods that they want to reveal? Maybe a Hat Ad should have a Rolls-Royvee in it, | wouldnt mind—buat they leave out the ha Maybe it pays but if Thad a voice in’ it, “The life-preserver?—Just a precaution, ol’ boy—for the last There'd be an end of such non- three nights I’ve dreamed I was drowning.” 5. 03 penis’ as) that Tin sick of Ady that are strutting with vanity Weary of swank and of swagger am T, Perish this Spatted. High- Hatted inanity, Isn't there Something us Masses can buy? Beerox Biatey Poor Little Joe Most people think when a crap: shooter snaps his fingers and says: yoneeds new shoes!” he is just using a colorful: ex- pression, On the contrary. he is t generally speaking the truth “Madam, your dog bit me!” Most crapshooters’ babies do “Ld advixe you, sir, not to speak until you're spoken to.” need new shoes comicbooks.com