Judge — December 17, 1927 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Tale of Young Lochinberg once upon a time stop fidgeting cranston once upon a time a brave warrior named lochinberg set out in search of the enchanted bottle to win his lady fair and make a decent cocktail and his way was paced with difficulties and haz- ards first he had to go through the valley of taxicabs and many brave men had been killed by these four wheeled dragons at the outset of their quest and at last he came to the keeper of the red light and rubbed his palm with magic butter and the lights flashed red and young lochinberg went safely across and then he came to the land of the torn up streets and after a bloody battle he came to the street of confused numbers where many a warrior® had been forced to retrace his steps and bye and bye lochinberg found the secret button and pushed it and a great door opened and a witch peered out and young lochinberg said I have come for the enchanted bottle and the witch said who are you and the brave man said I know a fel- low from princeton who always comes here and the witch immedi- ately changed into a prohibition agent with the body of a bar tender and the head of a goat and lochinberg pulled out a double edged search warrant and cut off the head of the witch and for every blow he struck a whiskey sour took its place and after he had taken several shots he stole the key from the dead goat and opened the sanctum sanctorum and there he beheld the enchanted bottle hanging on an apple tree guarded by a committee of snakes and pink elephants but he snatched the enchanted bottle and put it in his hip pocket which rendered it invisible and then he ate a cake of magic yeast and was transported with due delay to his lady love and she was waiting for him with outstretched cock- tail shaker and they quickly put a few drops of orange bitters from the enchanted bottle into the shaker and made a perfect martini and lived happily ever after and now uncle cookie sees Eric (who has gotten off the road)—Some speed we’re making! tired little eyes so to bed all of Look at those milestones! you. —Jack Ciuett 4 Cutcaco Cop—You're pinched! Banpit—Wha’ for? “Operatin’ a machine gun while under the influence o’ licker.” comicbooks.com