Judge, 1927-12-03 · page 7 of 36
Judge — December 3, 1927 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains a business-themed article titled "How One Executive Achieved Bigger Christmas Returns: A Success Story" by Archibald T. Suds (Aged 6). The article satirizes poor salesmanship and ineffective business practices. The narrator describes a shabby castor-oil salesman with no sales skills, arguing that success requires modern "scientific business methods." The satire mocks vague customer requests, failure to obtain proper information, and inadequate follow-up—particularly regarding Santa Claus gift letters where customers forgot to sign their names. The accompanying cartoon depicts a man sitting dejectedly outside a business establishment in winter conditions, with a caption suggesting marital discord over his lack of willpower or success. The humor targets both incompetent salesmen and the absurdity of attributing business failure to common sense rather than actual strategy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE HOW ONE EXECUTIVE ACHIEVED BIGGER CHRISTMAS RETURNS A man came into my nursery the other day to sell me some- thing. I believe it was a dose of stor oil; it doesn’t matter. The point is he was a poor sales- man. In the first place, his appear- ance was against him. He looked discouraged, as though he didn’t WANT to sell me that castor oil proposition. He needed a shave. He was bleary He wore no collar. ed him up at once with a glance at his feet. HE HAD NO SHOES ON! That was enough. Man alive,” I said quickly, “you can’t sell me ANYTHING in that condition, even if you are my father. Besides,” I added, “it takes GUTS to sell castor oil. That’s common sense.” He had to admit I w That man simply had _ the wrong appro: I use this as an illustration of what I want to bring out in connection with Santa Claus letters. Letters to nta Claus asking for Christ- gifts, I mean. Now, until a couple of years ago, I used the old stereotyped right. A Success Story By Arcuipatp T. Sups (Aged 6) forms in writing to Santa Claus. I got only mediocre returns. “DERe sAnta,”’ I would write, “Plees sent Me a pare of skaits. i been good. A. Suds.” No wonder I only got a tooth- brush. I didn’t even specify the kind of skates I wanted. I had the wrong approach. Then I began to think. Why do so many young people of my age find their requests un- answered? Why only a one or two per cent response in some of the subjects I inter- admitted that their re- quests were vague and indefinite. Others had neglected to sign their names legibly, or had got the wrong address on the e lope. One man actuall GOT TO SIGN HIS Think of it! I determined to try modern scientific business methods. he first year I started out in a comparatively modest way. During the last two weeks in November I sent a series of “teaser” postal cards which warned the prospect (Santa Claus) that something that would interest him was coming by mail. These cards were in- tended to whet his curiosity, break down his dealer-resistance, and get him into the proper frame of mind to receive my main proposal. Then he got my first broad- side. This was a four-page letter-head, illustrated with four- color process, depicting in a general the gifts I wanted. In two days this was followed by another, elaborating on the first, with a return coupon. Well, let me tell you, my Christmas that yea s the biggest ever expe Of course these campaigns cost money. My staff of en- gravers, artists, copy-writer: clerks constitute a heavy ¢: ing charge. Yet the first yes netted 5,000, the second, $250,000, and we expect to crack the million mark this year or next. And I’m not yet 7 years old. My friends have tried to saddle me with the reputation of a genius. But it isn’t genius; it’s just COMMON SENS “I won't go back in! And yet, the wife says I have no will power when it comes to drinking!” a comicbooks.com