Judge, 1927-11-26 · page 9 of 36
Judge — November 26, 1927 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of "The Night Before X-Muss" This is a humorous parody of Clement Clarke Moore's "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" ("'Twas the Night Before Christmas"). The satire inverts the famous poem by describing everything that *does* go wrong during Christmas—the opposite of the idealized holiday. The joke targets the reality of turn-of-the-century American family life versus sentimental Christmas mythology. Rather than Santa arriving magically, parents struggle to secretly fill stockings; rather than magical decorations, children discover fake beards and toys being dragged from attics. The poem catalogs domestic chaos: fathers falling off ladders, children getting sick, broken ornaments, arguments over gift choices, unwanted gifts (neckties and socks), and unexpected visitors. The accompanying cartoon shows a newlywed couple, captioned "Just like Mother used to shake!"—likely mocking nostalgic comparisons of modern domestic life to idealized memories. The lower cartoon of bills piling up (labeled "Yule-tide!") emphasizes the financial strain of holiday spending, a common concern. Overall, the piece satirizes the gap between Christmas fantasy and messy reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE | The Night Before X-Muss | Twas the night before x-muss | kiddie me lads now jimmie leave gerties hair be or ill tip off the old gentleman to put coal in your sock well then all the kids had retired early and junior hadnt caught his old man with a false beard filling the stockings and sister hadnt peeked and discov- ered mamma hustling the toys down from the attic and the stockings were hung by the chimney with e and didnt fall down and smash broken candy animals all over the hearth and when papa climbed up on a step ladder to get that star at the tip end of the tree he didnt tumble and end up under the sofa with a candy cane around his neck | and tinsel on his ear and mamma | and papa didnt fall down stairs with ronalds new sled and spill the beans and papa wasnt awakened x-muss morning at 6 by junior jumping on his stom- ach and ing merry christmas and it wasnt raining and papa | didnt have to say that santa must have had to come in an air- | ship and after breakfast the | family marched in and _ ethel didnt want gerties doll from aunt grace and gertie didn’t want ethels doll from aunt fan and ronald was glad he got a sled | instead of an electric engine and WEEEL. 4b: | junior wouldn’t have traded his area engine for ronalds sled for love NeEWLYWED OF THE FuturE—Marvelous, my dear! Just like | nor money and the children didnt Mother used to shake! | stuff candy and didn’t set fire to anybody and | get sick and the electric lights on the tree worked and the spark- | lers sparkled and | | papa didn’t get 14 neckties and 16 pair of socks and a five foot book shelf and mamma didnt get a linen shower and every- body got his list straight and | didnt go thanking uncle george | for a mechanical monkey when hed sent how to know wild | flowers and right in the midst of | the celebration the fitzgeralds | didnt drop in to see the presents and the foot print gag in the fire- place worked and after it was all over none of the kids said there aint no santa claus and | now children each one of you get a stocking and a big nail and a hammer and pound away on uncle jacks 5000 dollar mantel- piece and then we can all settle — down for a strong winters nip. | AW Yule-tide! —Jack Crivetr comicbooks.com