Judge — November 19, 1927 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ——EE TRY THESE ON YOUR MEDULLA OBLONGATA A little late in the day, per- haps, I’ve been looking over that Sex and Truth Questionnaire re- cently distributed by student at Columbia L and although it does, in a w. cover the situation there are numerous problems dealing with summer iversity, the old libido for which she gives no sexplanations. Having once been quartermaster of a forty- foot power boat on Long Island Sound for three weeks during the summer of 1904 and handling the sextant with ease, I beg to put forward a Questionnaire of my own that may be used in any Psychology tests you may wish to conduct in Essex County or if preferred may be used, when folded correctly, to prevent win- dows from rattling. Hereunder below I submit the main portions of my Questionnaire which I consider, without aggeration, the most helpful adjuncts to a career of lycanthropy ever pro- mulgated; and, with tion, the most helpful ever even thought of since Cleopatra threw M. Antony to a crocodile. Tue Questions 1, What wouldn’t you do to get By PERCY WAXMAN your name in print? Answer just “Yes” or “No.” 2. Do you ever lead from an Ace, Queen suit? Don't include extra-marital details. 3. If you feel inferior to your wife's mother do you let’ on? Don't bother being truthful with this one. 4. Do you let manicure girls know you're misunderstood at home? If your wife’s an invalid it will do as well. 5. Do you ever sup with chorus girls?) Add war tax in replying to this. 6. Why was Queen Elizabeth known as the Virginia Reel? Ex- plain whether this was a phoney or filmy wheeze. 7. What emotion does musical If mur- comedy arouse in you? der speak freely. 8. Does an castor oil with a hunk of pork fat nauseate you more easily than You needn't give your right name when an- swering this. 9, What of the don’t you feel lazy? carefully—there is a dirty crack hidden in this. overdose of hot movie captions? week Answer 10. Do you go around with a crowd that likes a good time or are both legs amputated? De- duct 4% for good intentions. 11. Do you lik eing your wife’s relatives suffering? Give date of last visit and its duration. 12. Do you wash behind the ears? Don’t mention tempera- ture of water in replying to this and leave out all such words as “daily,” “tub,” “shower,” “brisk rub,” “never miss,” “even in winter,” ete. 13. Are you fond of pretty women or are you still single? Give extra-territorial preferences if not married more than once. 14. What are you in the habit of reading—(a) in public, (b) at home, (ce) Add names of shops where purchased in reply to C. 15. Are you lacking in tact, Otherwise of present un- when alone? aalitosis or pyorrhes explain popularity. 16. Do ever eat marma- lade when Only sealed bids received on this one. 17. Do you dream that you're flying, walking, running, sitting, riding, successful, hungry, causes you alone? e ever i i | comicbooks.com