Judge — August 27, 1927 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE WIG: About every other day or so, some boozem friend returns from a trip to Canada full of stories about how simple it is to bring liquor back, . . . “Why, they never look through your car!” and “It’s a pipe! I could have brought back a case or two!” are some of the samples given out by prodigal sons. = I says to Mac, I says, ¢, how’s to go up into them thar hills of Canady and bring back some hooch for the little ones?” ,. . . “Wal, Juniah,” he drawls (Mac is the champion drawler of the East, having won —_ ue two legs on the International Drawling Cup and is a runner-up in the Open Drawling Tourna- ment of Flushing), “I think tl thar idea has merit!” and quicker than you could recite Lincoln's Gettysburg address we were on our way! We decided to take the Night Boat up to Albany, drive up to Montreal from there, and cover the races at Saratoga on the way back (see next week’s Jupce. Advt.), but we came near cover- ing Europe!... Mac, of course, insisted on stop- ping in and say- ing good-by to Frank and Jack, and we just made the boat by the skin of our teeth, . .. As soon as we got on deck Mae suddenly grabbed my arm and_ yelled, “My goodness! We're on the Leviathan!’ . . . Well, sir, you could h knocked me over with a Cadillac! however, the Captain was kind no end, and ordering full steam ahead, they turned around and went right up the Hudson after the Night Boat. . . We caught it up near Tarry town and thanking the Captain profusely, we boarded the other boat amid the jeers of the pas sengers. 2. . oes * * * These stars denote the time spent in Montreal, (You will note that there are three stars!) Montreal is a great city! It's got streets and sidews and trees running along them, and hydrants, and traffic lights and everything! .. . the liquor stores are nice too, but they'll only sell two bottles to a customer .. . however, we were all prepared for that! . Mac would go in first in his regular clothes, that is, his check suit, with the bell toe yellow shoes and his brown derby, then he’d come out, put the two bottles in the car, and putting on his fireman’s hat and false mus- tache, would go in again! ... we had sixteen different disguises with us, so when we made off for Sa go the border we were laden down with goodies! he Well, sir, those people that told us they never looked through your car were all wrong, because they looked through ours and took ail our liquor too! . . . however, we still had our disguises, so we went . . “I got an ays Mae, as we came to the border. “Turn. the around and back over! they'll think we're coming into back once more! idea, Canada!” Well, it didn’t work, but they didn’t take our liquor, because they couldn’t figure out our status « when they stopped us, the liquor was in the rumble seat and in the United States and the rest of the car was in Canada . . the Canadian officials finally d cided that we'd have to be penal- ized twenty-five yards and start over! After a long conference Mae got a_ brilliant idea and sug- gested that we each put a bottle in our hat and walk across the border, but that was a flop, be- cause just as (Continued on page 32) comicbooks.com