Judge — August 20, 1927 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"DGE Well, boys, I don’t know whether you ever struck one of these fiends or not, but we finally got to the dance and the pulled there made the goos stand out on me. First she points to the fella that plays the traps in the orchestra and s : a eee} “Oo, nice mans! Baby wanna hit dvum TOO! Daddy get baby dvum?” “Lissen,” I hisses in her ear, “some of these people know me, so lay off or I'll break your arm!” “Oooooh!” she squeals. “Will big, strong mans BEAT baby? Don’t 00 hit baby or baby get big bruvver after him!” “Tt’s all right with me!’ I “You can tell him right now, because you're going home so fast you'll make Charlie Paddock look sluggish!” And I quick rushes | her toward the coat-room, All | the way back she’s pouting and gurgling like a yearling, with me jon | shaking like I had the ague and ) eo ~ 1ATO 2 | wondering how I never found out l till then that she had one of those primary school brains. When we get to her house I'm just ready to beat it when she says: “Is daddy angwy isten, Mag!” I says to her. he next time daddy goes out with baby?” | with you he’s going to wear ear- muffs and get plastered before. | But they ain’t going to be no next time, dearie!”) And I skin around | the corner. | | Well, I’m feeling kind of low, | so I go into a coffee pot and sit down at the counter. The Greek comes over and I looked at him, and before I could think I says: “Baby wanna Western sanwich! Baby feels very PUNY!” “What?” says the poor Turk. “Baby’s toi-ed!” I says. “Baby wanna cup of coffce-woffee !” And I bust down and shrick like a banshee. Yeh, I’ve played around with all kinds. But believe me, | brother, whenever I take them out now, you never hear a peep out of me. I just sit there and let them talk. And if they start in THAT stuff, I quick shove them in a cab and send them home to beddo—oh, my Gawd! —S. J. Pererman The horse laugh. comicbooks.com