Judge, 1927-08-20 · page 12 of 36
Judge — August 20, 1927 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Great Discovery" Analysis This is a humorous tall tale satirizing both the American self-made man myth and rural superstition. Thaddeus Tinker, a hapless protagonist, works his way up from cabin boy to trolley-car pilot through petty embezzlement ("tinkering with the fare box"). After being fired, he blames the Mississippi River for his misfortunes. When drunk by a riverbank, an apple hits his head. Rather than recognizing gravity, Tinker blames his enemy—the river—and irrationally yells at it. Farmers overhear and interpret his drunken ranting as genius, building a dam based on his accidental discovery. The dam fails, drowns Tinker, yet locals celebrate him as a hero, eventually naming a holiday after him. The satire mocks credulous rural communities who confuse luck with innovation, and the absurdity of historical mythology—how pointless or destructive acts get immortalized and celebrated. The phrase "Tinker's Dam" becomes proverbial through pure accident.
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Great Discovery Thaddeus Tinker, only son of old man Tinker, ran away from home when he was thirty-two years old and set out to make his fortune. Starting as a lowly cabin boy on a canal boat, Thad- deus worked his way up until he was pilot of a crosstown trolley- car. Here he began tinkering with the fare box, and as his em- young Tinker was fired with enthusiasm. WwW ith the nickels he had saved, arted in business for an expert tinkerer. J he _tinkered around the docks and levees of the Mississippi, but as he was always falling in the water he grew to dislike the river more and more and finally came to think of it as his enemy. a Then, one day, the river began to rise and all the farmers gath- ered on the banks and scratched their heads and wondered what to do. Now Thaddeus Tinker didn’t care a great deal if the river rose Frienp—Yes, as you say—you see things with an auto that you wouldn't see any other way or sank, so he lay down in the shade of a jug of corn likker and was getting nicely fried when an apple hit him on the head. Something must have caused that apple to fall on my head, thought Thaddeus, and as he had never heard of gravity he figured out that some one must have beaned him with it. Then he remembered that the river was his enemy, so he blamed it on the Mississippi and began yelling, “damn that river, damn that river, damn that river.” The farmers heard him and let out a great shout. “Hurray,” they cried. “Tinker has made a_ great discovery. We'll dam the river and save our crops.” So they built a big dam, and the river knocked it down and spoiled their crops and drowned Thaddeus. This made the farm- ers very sad, but they were so glad they had gotten rid of Tinker they proclaimed a big holiday and called it “Thaddeus Tinker's Damn Discovery Day.” In time this was shortened to “Tinker’s Damn Day” and finally to “Tinker’s Dam,” which is cele- brated even now. —Jack SuutrLewortu comicbooks.com