Judge — August 6, 1927 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tue Bic Man—I say, you've had a narrow escape. 1” caught someone tying your car to my dog’s tail—Humonis Householder — So, my good man, you are in straitened cir- circum: S$ ightened! — Sir, if I was twins I'd be parallel. ANSWERS Judge—Guilty or not guilty of this charge of murder? Prisoner—None of yer busi- ness! “Thirty court !”” days — contempt of —Cottirr's It was little Jacky’s first cx- perience in a train, and the suc- cession of wonders had reduced him to a state of astonishment. When the locomotive plunged into a tunnel there came from his corner sundry grunts indicating dismay and suspicion. Then the train rushed into daylight again, and a voice was lifted in profound thankfulness and wonder. “Lumme!_ It’s tomorrow.” —Trr Brrs Judge—And you really carried out this theft by yourself. Accused — Y your honor; nowadays there is no one left whom one can really trust. —Futecenpe Buiaerrer, Munich There are over one million laws in force in the United States. Another one is evidently needed, making murder illegal in Chicago. —Lonvon Opinion Once and For All “B-r-r! It’s chilly in here. Has the stove gone out?” a> it vad “Well, why don’t you light it?” “Tcan’t. It went out—with the instalment collector.” —Curistian Science Monitor Scientists say that the sun will last us another 15,000,000,000 years. Longer, we should think, judging by the economical way it shines in the summer. -Loxvon Opinion Mr. Wu has been appointed Foreign Minister at Nanking. The new official will now doubt- less occupy a little corner in many a cross-word puzzle. —Passinc Snow Diplomacy Bootseller—I can see that your Madame, is three. At the same time, you will find fours so comfortable that I might al most recommend you to fives. —Pearson’s wear The Wife—I took the recipe for this cake out of the book. Her Husband (sampling the thing)—You did perfectly right. It never should have been put in. —ANsWeRs The Bruiser—Wot you wanter remember abaht fighting is this. You've al gotter fight wiv intelligence ? nkin—Y es, quite; but it can’t be done—what? Suppose you can’t find a smaller ma —Pearson’s Waste of Breath Mother—Now, Jimmy, sup- pose you were to hand Willie a plate with a large and small piece of cake on it, wouldn’t you tell him to take the larger piece? Jimmy—No. Mother—Wh Jimmy—Bee not? se it wouldn’t be rr lay He—Pardon me, but is this your handkerchief? Sue you I meant. Thanks very much, but as a matter of fact, it wasa’t —Passinc Snow TDWARD LANGER PRINTING CO., ING.» JAMAICA, N. ¥- comicbooks.com