Judge, 1927-08-06 · page 12 of 36
Judge — August 6, 1927 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This 1920s satirical piece mocks the decline of golf from an exclusive gentleman's sport into a commercialized playground for salesmen and advertising hustlers. The unnamed speaker proposes an absurdly luxurious "golf club" occupying Times Square, demolishing major buildings for an eighteen-hole course. The joke is that this "real" golf club would actually be a parody of modern excess: concrete greens, champagne water hazards, powdered sugar bunkers, orchestras at each tee, full bars, chauffeur service, and an ambulance for exhausted players. The caddy girls detail mocks the sexualization of female workers. The final jab—"there will be no 19th hole" (traditionally the clubhouse bar where golfers socialize)—suggests that this commercialized version has lost golf's actual purpose: gentlemanly camaraderie. The satire targets 1920s American materialism, commercialization of leisure, and the erosion of class-based traditions by nouveau riche business culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE AIG You know there’s one sport in this here now country that's on s golf! the down grade, and thi . it used to be an old me and now it’s degenera into a playground for Bond, In- Automobile and Adver- tising salesmen and their prey . some one ought to > hold of the game and pep it up! he surance, So I'm going to start a golf club that is a golf club! it will be laid out right where Times Squa now stands . . . easily accomplished by all the buildings from d Street to 49th Street, leav- ing George Olsen’s as a club- house . . . if this proves too ex- pensive we will merely tear down the Paramount edifice which will! give us plenty of room for an eighteen-hole course and will help no end to beautify the city. master and he will be given blanche in selecting the eaddy gi this will the whole course one great big fairway! (Heh! Heh!) ... and to keep the Socie for the Prevention of Cruelty to Fo!lies Girls from kicking, each player will be sup- plied with as many caddies as there are sticks in his bag so that the dear gels won't have to carry more than one stick apiece .. . no player will be allowed to use more than a dozen clubs . . player caught kissing a ec: of bounds will be disqualified. AT Ail the greens will be mad concrete, covered with green vel vet and the traps and tee box be filled) with powdered sugar ... all water hazards consist of champagne or beer a all balls landing in the w: d from where they fal! 1 be considered unsports- anlike to drink the h in order to play the ba!!. Coed There will be an_ orchestra stationed at each tee, also a com plete bar and a first class bar tender . . . players who cannot it for a drink from tee to tee y rent a tee table (tee hee!) a tee table caddy from the y-house, at a slight extra charge. h player must furnish his own motor and chauf- feur for going around the courts . . . there will be a free bulance service for players unable to finish the course . will be no 19th hole. Jupce, Jn. rds dry am- . there comicbooks.com