Judge — July 30, 1927 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The Promulgation of the Penultimate. And How! They've had me in this place for six months now. I think it was Wednesday they brought me, or maybe it was August, I don't know. It’s not a bad sort of a sanitarium, as far as sanitariums go, but as far as I am concerned they don’t go far enough. I have plenty to eat, a good place to sleep and a lot of jovial com- panions. I wouldn’t mind it so much if everybody wasn’t c¢ That's the funny thing about it. Everybody in this issue of Jupce seems to be crazy but me. I’m as sane as you are and I'll prove it. Horatius stood on the bridge, didn't he? He didn’t! Bridges had not been invented yet, and you can see for yourself that such soup will always spill. — It's too thin. I often told Helen that she made the soup too thin, but she never would listen to me. The alphabet doesn’t require thin soup or even ham and eggs for sustenance as long as the fenders are unmarked, but the minute you get the paint scratched off of the fenders you might as well take the buttermilk in the house and put it in the ice-box. Ice used to be a whole lot cheaper than kippered herring, and that always seemed so silly to me, because naturally it cost more to kipper a herring, espe- cially in the spawning season when the roads are muddy and unfit for travel. Taking all in all, there is more common sense in an oyster’s little finger E WHIPPET CANOE SERVES WELL FOR Two THE WHIPPET RADIO SUITS LAFCADIO WHIPPET TWIN BEDS. FOR. SLEEPY HEADS. THE WHIPPET WIFE MINIMIZES STRIFE WHIPPET PLANES DELIGHT THE JANES ) THE WHIPPET DAILY S THE NEWS GAILY The Whippet Age. There's something about this collar that bothers me. I wonder if by any chance I got it @ size too large. Yes, the new life guard used to run a steam-shovel. than in all the soft soap wrappers piled end on end beside the Wool- worth Building. However, if you take a split pea in its youth and teach it the rudiments of osteop- athy or tall and lofty tumbling, in so far as it is grateful it will unbend and be decidedly altruistic in its search for the ultimate. No, I am not Demosthenes, neither am I Napoleon, or Alex- ander the Great--But I must be gone! I must get away from here! I see the Editor coming! He has a lighted match! He must not get near me! I’m a celluloid (Editor's that time !”’) collar—P fzzzzzzzzzz ! note—"‘I got him —Nare Cottier. Se that putty on your finger f Plumber—That’s to remind me to forget my tools. —ANSWERS S22 A visitor remarks that the first thing that struck him in London was the double-decked covered-in ‘bus. He was. particularly un- fortunate. -Humorist Dioxide” When rats cat foison they die comicbooks.com