Judge — July 16, 1927 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

[G/T PN nl uni fh} Speaking of vacations, why not stay in town all summer? And if you want entertainment we really can’t think of a more ideal form of fun than theatre parties. Cer- tainly summer is the best time to give them when all of the worth-* while plays have closed, all of your most desirable friends are away and the theatres are even more uncomfortable than usual. SS aS Choose the worst production running, and don’t think this is any snap, as there are any num- ber of atrocities to choose from. There really is no reason in bothering to arrive before the middle of the first act, and of course it’s absurd to arrange the seating of your party till you arrive. It’s much better to do it from the aisle when the party is all huddled together on each other’s toes. When you finally get seated, the rest of the audience rises and sings, “Good Morning, Merry Sunshine, How Did You Come So Soon?” You count three and your party rises and makes several swooping bows in appre- ciation of this touching ovation. SS ad By the time you are all settled again, “the life of the party” has entered into the spirit of the thing and is loudly repeating each line of the play after each actor and is laughing uproariously at his incomparable humor. About this time you notice that you've tact- ‘fully managed to seat Mrs. Spoofus, who stutters, next to Mr. Goofus, who is slightly deaf. It doesn’t matter, really—they just go on and have their fun in their own little way. As a whole, everything seems to be just dandy. At intermission the party goes out to smoke, powder noses and various things. It’s not a bit necessavy to get back until the second act is well on its way.” Then tie party is all settled down for a jolly good time. Six Best Steppers “Lazy Weather” (no show) “Slow Rivers” (no show) “Yes, She Do” (no show) “T’m Back in Love Again” (no show) “Hogan’s Alley” (Talk About Girls) “Baby Me” (Merry-Go-Round) The Diary of a Dub MONDAY: The fellows at the office collected five bucks from me today for a benefit fund. TUESDAY: I asked them who the benefit was for and they said it was for a fellow who has written some awfully good plays but is up against it now. WEDNESDAY: I’m glad I helped out that fund because it’s for a guy named Shakespeare and everybody knows that he has made a lot of people happy with his funny shows. THURSDAY: I told my girl friend about the benefit and she said they were making a sap out of me because Shakespeare is dead. I am going to find out to- morrow. FRIDAY: I did some sleuth- ing around in the library today and learned that my girl friend is right. I’m pretty mad and I’m going to tell that bunch of crooks at the office a few things. SATURDAY: I started jump- ing on the gang the first thing this morning, but instead of showing them up I made myself feel awfully cheap. They told me of course Shakespeare was dead, and that was why they were raising money for his widow. —Cuetr Jounson The moth! comicbooks.com