Judge — June 18, 1927 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“I do not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Telegram Editor Je For no good reason at all save that I have just finished reading it, I think the Tabloid Number of Juve: is the funniest bit of nonsense seen in these parts in twenty years. Willard Mack The Test Dear Sever: I just happened to pick up the Popular Mechanics number of Jupcr and, after reading your enjoyable article, it just occurred to me that here in Ohio the motto that was handed down from my ancestors would be the answer to your problem: . Drunk is he, Who from the floor Cannot arise To drink some more. Yours, Billy Murray Lakewood, Ohio April 25, 1927 Subtle Implications Dear J On a perfectly irresistible day jusc recently we di ed the darlingest little news-stand. Really, Juvor, it was too utterly fascinating for words. And, Jwncr, they sold the most divinely rare magazines. Some of the covers were scrumptiously adorable My Dears, if you know what we mean, gorgeou iridescent, and all that sort of thing. While we stood there unspeakable with joy, Juvce, old dear, would you believe it, no end, the most frightful clerk accosted us and simply in- sisted on selling a copy of what he deliriously alleged was a humorous magazine, and really, My Dears, it was perfectly killing, no end, because it turned out to be a publication called “ ” Wasn't that just too fascinatingly unique? We mean, we think, it v imply too tantalizing. We are in ‘k cloth and Jupce, just imagine how ey ingly, and horribly embarrassing, right in front of one’s own dear friends to be offered a copy of that nit-wit weekly filled with frightfully unhealthy Gordon water recipes . . - No End... y nothing, Jupcr, of all the superlative inane, or should we have remarked “Insane Adjec- tives.” It was abysmally disappoint- ing to be insulted with trash of this kind when he could have just as easily offered any one of the other insufferable alluring publications; really, it was too devastating for words. “YE GODS, JUDGE” ... if Judge, Jr., and Judgette can grasp a few of these subtle implications con- tained in this abortion, have them sober up long enough to cut out their —VOLTAIRE ridiculously asinine performance, if you know what we mean, June, thing. “Thank You too no end. No end... . No end, Roy F. Smith May 7, 1927 Green River, Wyoming Keeping Everlastingly at It Dear Juvce: Why am I cast into this outer dark- ness, into this wailing and gnashing of teeth existence? Honest, I'm not a Methodist, I don’t like the K. K. K., and I do love good licker. I simply adore George Jean Nathan, love W. M. H. and every- thing he writes, from editorials to Sreeriesack (to his mate in distress)—I’ll ’ave to ’op down movie reviews, think Judge, Jr., clever no end, and High Heels simply en- trancing, my dear, I mean I really do. Did I anyone ou Every fifteen cents straight for If you don’t believe it, ask ler at Park Row and Spruce In a recent letter to you, one of your admirers said that contributors who received rejection slips wrote in, denouncing you’ and all your depart- ments. Hence, the foregoing par graph. But, my Gawd, Jever, don’t even get rejection slips no’ And I used to use the backs of them for laundry lists. But I don’t care, Sinclair Lewis, in a whole year, sold just one joke to you, and that’s all he sold to any- one in the whole darn year. Yours more or less sincerely, Charlotte EB. Hurd P.S. Be a good feller, Juner, and print this, so I can thumb my nose at your Literary Editor, if any 2nd P. S. I take back what T said about Judge, Jr. and High Heels. There ain't no justice! You print their prattle and I am rejected and boot. Is that nice, Jupce? for a rope, Bill, but you'll be safe enough till I get back—there ain’t likely to be a thunderstorm. —Passinc Snow YDWARD LANGER PRINTING ©0,, INC., JAMAICA, N. ¥- comicbooks.com