Judge — May 28, 1927 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Jos LOOK. BOYS: THE MOUNTED ALWAYS GET THEIR MAN: A shoe-clerk named Butts or Gregory or something told us this panic the other night in a gin-mill. It appears that an old lady went into a butcher shop and said, “Hey, Finkle, I want a nice piece of meat — without any fat or gristle or bone in it!” “Say, Rosie,” replied the jolly butcher, “if that’s what you want, I think you better buy an egg!” Crimson with shame, the old lady cut a sorry figure. They Jeered at Me— And Then I Sent for the Course! “What do you think, Jones?” We were all in conference and the President called on me for my views. I was petrified, tongue- tied, paralysed—for I had been shakes!! shree ’clock a’ready?” “Goo’nesh Hic— paying absolutely no attention to the discussion. “WI ” I stammered, and with disgusted look the President called upon Smith. Miserably I sat down and list- ened, while Smith, with all the as- surance in the world, gave his opinion. “Boss,” he boomed, “you ain't got any sense at all. Now you'd be a damn fool if you And he went on, holding his audience spellbound. How I envied his eloquence! My very scalp itched. Phat night I saw an ad in a », and several weeks later I clipped and mailed the coupon. But I heard nothing from it be- cause I had failed to fill in my name and address. Undaunted, I sent in another, Give this little girl a hand! The Course arrived and I saw that there was no trick, no magic, no mystery about becoming a convincing speaker. In fact,. I was pretty darn mad that I had laid out ten dollars, plus a few cents postage ($3.97), for the outfit. But I studied it, for I made up my mind that I should become a powerful speaker in spite of my muddy complexion. At the next meeting my as- sociates snickered as I entered the room and I smiled grimly. Laugh at me, would th I'd show them! nally my oppor- tunity came — the President called upon me again. “What do you think, Jones?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. Amused glances were turned my With perfect confidence I arose to speak, but just as I Streepte Jack—This cer- tainly is a grand view! I only wish I had brought Mary and the kids. mouth chuckled and in five seconds the conference room roars of laughter. gave me a should have this Course. for the ng booklet. urNey Wixtiams, Jr. opened = my someone echoed with They never chance! But you Send en She just washed her heir; e can’t doa thing with it. 18 comicbooks.com