Judge, 1927-05-14 · page 10 of 36
Judge — May 14, 1927 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "How to Make Love" by S.J. Perelman (Judge Magazine) This is a humorous piece satirizing how courtship fashions evolve alongside other trends. Perelman mocks the notion that baseball—a newly popular sport—has spawned its own romantic etiquette, complete with baseball-themed seduction scenarios. The article references real baseball figures (Ty Cobb, Moll Pitcher, Tris Speaker) as characters in an absurdly convoluted melodrama involving oil leases, grafters, and exposed dealings—parodying the overwrought plot devices of contemporary serialized fiction and silent films. The joke hinges on treating baseball romance as a legitimate "new sport" requiring instructional articles, while the contrived plot becomes increasingly ridiculous. The "Lazy Man Epitaph" poem and "Earnest Motorist" cartoon are unrelated filler pieces typical of Judge's miscellaneous humor content. The satire targets both the earnestness with which magazines treated social trends and period fiction's tangled melodramas.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE HOW TO MAKE LOVE By S. J. PERELMAN Sixth Lesson Fashions in LOVE change as in dress. Once it was considered to be very smart to attend a party at the Ritz in breech-clout and aigrettes; but times change and now fashionable society de- mands a poncho or at least a sailor suit for even informal gatherings. And so with LOVE. With the advent of a new sport, BASEBALL, a new kind of LOV called BASEBALL LOVE has come into being and seriously threatens to replace the old-fashioned bath-stopper. Above we show. two photo- graphs posed exclusively for Jupce by Moll Pitcher and Tris (“Ty Cobb”) Speaker of the St. Louis Wombats. The situation in the first picture is very inter- esting and ha hout as fol- lows: Finlay just bunted a fast one which Gipke on third base has intercepted and thrown to Rakewell, who is fielding. Rakewell, recognizing Moll, threatens to tell all, but Jack, her brother, shows Field the papers and says he will expose his crooked dealings with the grafters unless Marshall (Rich- ard Dix) surrenders the oil 1 . Gurney, therefore, warns s sister that Humphries is in town for no good purpose and asks her not to tell the parson. Now go on with the story. The second picture shows the winsome miss in the arms of Tris, whom she considers a good “catch” (ha! h In the back- ground one sees Ebbets Field, where gallant Pickett led his fa- mous charge. The couple are standing at “home plate” and Moll has just whispered to Tris: “Love me, love my dog!” Tris is looking around for a dog to love, but Moll must have been fooling, as there are no dogs in | Cgananregagany sight, unless she meant that mangy collie asleep on the door- step, and who wants collies? Attaboy, Tris! Not many base- ball players have the opportunity of kissing a player on the oppos- ing side and who would want to, anyways? Did you ever kiss a pig? Many have; ‘many haven't. Anybody who is fond of this new indoor sport will welcome our next article, “How to Kiss a Pig in a Poke.” It’s a riot! The Lazy Man Epitaph Here lies a man who was terribly lazy; Work was, he thought those who were ¢ All form of effort he gr horred, When someone done by tly ab- mentioned it he became bored. His hardest effort was smoking a pipe; He didn’t work ’cause he the type. Never was he seen at toil by his neighbor, Never at business, at tasks or at labor. There was one thing, though, at wasn't which he was best; So on his tombstone we put it: At rest. —R. C. O’Brien LXs Blink—Is Whoozis stingy? Blank—Say, he’s so tight when you go out with him he leaves his Suspenders and belt home so he'll have to keep his hands in his pockets. t Morortst—I do wish you wouldn’t talk to me, Arethusa; you make me lose count of my pedestrians. comicbooks.com