Judge — May 7, 1927 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What Do You Know ¢ How answer tions? If you can get them all right you rate 100% in this representative intelligence test. 1. How much is 2x 2? Ans. . accurately can you 2, How many letters in the | word car? 3. What vw eorge Wash- ington's first name? Ans. 4. In North Dakota? An: direction is from South what Dakota What is the color of red ink? An oe 6. Who autobiogr: Ans. wrote phy? Sappy’s Column Dear Boys and Girls: I will tell you a little stor about Sophie Sofa. It seems she was running around with the iceman when one day her husband came home and caught them making fudge in the kitchen. The husband, whom we shall call Alexander for short, bashed in the man's head with his own ice tongs and ruined his wife's best dress by shooting it full of holes and, mind you little readers, when he shot his wife's best dress full of hole: she was still in the dress. So you can imagine how mortify ing it was for her to have he best dress all full of holes while she was still in it. She caught cold from the exposure and died, but the husband only laughed cruelly and made him- self a Tom Collins from the ice that the iceman had brought. Little Oscar Boodlebeck, of 1349 Grand Concout wins today’s prize for best letter, and here it i: ice- the Dear Uncle Sappy: My old man came home drunk the other night and my old woman kicked him all the way down- stairs. We live on the top floor of a walk-up and I had to laugh at my old man’s expres- sion because he has been keep- ing company with the lady on the third floor, and as he passed her going down he for- got to take off his hat and now she won't speak to him any more. the following ques-| TABLOID NUMBER WINS PRIZE a IRMA CUDAHY who won the TABLOID’S Daily Prize for the best cooking recipe. “Take a ean of beans, put in boiling | water for ten minutes and serve in the can.” MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT recently I was out with my boy — friend, Quentie Reynolds. He took me to a perfect show about a Jewish fellow and his Irish girl friend. I think it was called ‘Lulu Belle’ or some- thing. Well, anyhow, after the show we went in a place where there was a long counter with | pretzels and cheese and pickles | piled up on one end and some men drinking soda at the} other end. We each had a couple of sodas which Quentie poured out of a bottle. They were so good I simply had to have two more. The place was very warm and I guess} the heat made me feel faint, so two men helped my boy friend carry me out. When I got out I felt better, so Quentie and I went in a_ shooting- gallery. Quentie is very nerv- | ous and before he had a chance | to aim he pulled the trigger and the gun went off. I was X-rayed yesterday and the doctor said some of the buck- shot ill in my left leg. C you imagine my mortificat surrounded by all thos men and my whole left simply peppered with buck- shot? As I said to Quentie, a girl is crazy to go out with a boy friend and come home half shot. He asked me if I was mad on him, and I said, ‘DOGS get mad; I'm angry!" I guess that will hold him for | “One night a while!” Perelman ab HORIZONTAL From what is made the oil which lubri- cates the machinery of Government? What are Chesterfields supposed to do? What animals closely resemble man? What is the most important of the metal- lic elements? What comes after all the others? What is necessary to any sitting room? What is the largest city of Seward Penin- sula, Alaska? Whaat is rarely found in a modern artist's studio? What is the most unnecessary. thing found on most any tourist's car? Name a Chinese racket. In what direction is Portland, Maine, from N. Y.? (init.). What are soldiers most interested in? What should every litle pedestrian leara to do? Of what state is Des Moines the capital? (abbr.). What does your baby think is the sweet- thing about you? What noun means employment? What do auto trucks carry? What river in France is 175 miles long? What argument used by the Romans did their enemies get the point of? What do most politicians do who have a seat in Congress? What is a native of a city called? (abbr.). Who has something to say one day a year—and nothing all the rest? From what river in the lower world did souls drink before passing to Elysium? What adverb means “at the place’ What is an abbreviation for Ordini Sancti Augustini? What does the tired business man do during office hours? What little word often makes a fellow the “happiest man in the world”? What is the Porto Rican word for “mut ton fish’? (Our advice is that you do the Verticals.) What is a French conjunction meaning “but? What is an English conjunction meaning “similarity, likeness'’? What is a devilish little fellow? What should Cupid do for domestic war- fare? What do gold-diggers dig for? What could Huckleberry Finn never be- come? What is an obsolete spelling for “‘assize’"? What can three never be? What is an action in law for damages for a wrong as distinguished from an ac- tion founded on contract? What is gold to a gold-digger? What was Galileo tried for? What stood between Hannibal and Romet VERTICAL What cartoonist originated the Tam- many Tiger? What kind of people'are quick to learn? In what directivn is New York from Washington, D. C.? (init.). What is $100 in the bank? Name a river in France. What President is famous for the Pan- ama Canal? (init.). What was one of the ancient Greek races? (abbr.) What is found in Alaska? What is a breezy little instrument? What weapon is used for killing whales? What is a name for a plane or open sur- face? What verb means “to follow as a conse- quence”? What is it husbands tell in the wee small hours? What is the chief subject of interest with any young man? What is a synonym for obliterate? What is it the woman does? (If 90, why is the man always broke?) What is Jack and the Beanstalk? What class of people are not noted for their taking ways? What does many a girl do to a good egg? What is an unsophisticated person? What is the first sign of the Zodiac? What term placed before a married woman's maiden name indicates ber arentage' What has a lot of crust? Name something that bas its place Ia the sun What’ would any college boy prefer to make than 100% in his exams? What is it that runs from pl What are the priests of Lamaisn What adjective did Chaucer use to indi- cate—tried; superior? What does the girl friend give before she gets the ring? Where do good ball players go? What weed is mentioned in Biblical stories? What food is preferred by Eskimos (plu.). What Greek combining form indicates imperfection. (We'll help you out— the third letter is E— Now you had better do the Horizontals.) What is always on top? What isa short abbreviation of Inde- indent Indian Investigators? Where is many a ham roasted? What is a lofty rock—or high bill called in Devonshire, England? What word indicates a long, long time? What is the second note in the musical scale? What letters in what order indicate that the young boy is well pleased with what he is eating? comicbooks.com