Judge — April 30, 1927 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

My dears, have you tried the new opalescent nail polish? We mean you really should. It’s the most divinely alluring thing in the world. And for evening it’s simply too gorgeous to even speak about. You know descent and so of course it just sets off any shade of evening gown you happen to be wearing. And it’s so frightfully individual, you know. oS And, honestly, have you seen the excruciatingly wonderful new waist lines? Well, really we are just well-nigh bowled over by them, They are designed after a French peasant’s trousers. You know how they pull the belt very tightly around the waist, which leaves about a two or three-inch frill of the trousers above. W that’s what the new waist line Isn’t it just too fascinatingly unique? We mean, we think it’s simply too tantalizing. S ws At last something different in hosiery. You know the ordinary Pointex heels. Well, inst: of just one point, these gorgeously individual things have two point: They are called “Twin Pointes or something of the sort. But v mean they are just too irresistibly fetching. we Really, we heard the most kill- ing thing at the theater the other evening. We just can’t under- stand how some people can be so unbearably dumb. Anyway, this creature, who was sitting right behind us, said: “For a play with so many words in it I think it’s wonderful.” Can you bear it? Honestly, we mean we hardly can, We ran across the most fetch- ing hair cut the other day seems that you just have a boyish bob and then just let it keep on and on growing until it starts to curl around the ears. Real t's, too scrumptiously effective for words. ~ we And have you heard those un- speakably — uniq instruments called “Jazzithers”? Well, they have a body like a ukulele with a frightfully attenuated neck. But here’s the fascinating part—only one string. And you can actually play just anything on them. Really, we are just prostrated with a desire to play one. They are simply too irresistible. Really, we simply can’t bear the hypocrisy of some people. Ac- tually, it’s too nauseous for any- thing. Do you know that we have a G. F. who has just had a French phone installed and, hon- estly, we know for a positive fact that she can’t speak a word of the language. Six Best Steppers When Day Is Done (no show) I've No Control of My Heart (no show) Kinkajou (no show) She’s the t Word (no show) The Cat (no show) Sundown (no show) Jogos 16 A True Confession I confess to fraud and arson, yhem, murder, homicide; I confess I shot a parson, Robbed a pauper, stole a bride, Burned a church and wrecked a flier, Uttered words of treason high; Never wallowed in the mire Such a rogue unhung as I. I confess to sly infractions Of the code of church and state; I confess to overt actions Even thugs would deprecate. Strange to say, no pangs assail me With the gripings of remorse; True, I know they'll never jail me For my anti-social course. I confess that my confession Under no duress is made; I confess it’s my profession Calling every suit a spade; I confess, no use denying, means; For I make my living lying For the “Truthful” magazines. —Pavut F. Watkins The umbrella that wouldn’t turn inside out. comicbooks.com