Judge — March 26, 1927 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SPEAKEASY By JUDGE, Jr. EFORE tak- ing up the ; problem of | getting into a speak- | easy good idea to let our little readers know where to find such a thing and how to recognize it when they see it, taking it for granted that the little pupil is not al- ready blind when he starts out. AKEASIES SPE are comparatively easy to find. Just pick out any house in any block and there you are, as they say in Sweden. Sweden is a quaint country, full of many naive customs, but I digress, as the biographers Ss y. BIOGRAPHERS are really very funny peo- ple, are they not? ‘Take Woodward, for example. But again I digress. As Barnum said, “It’s digress show on earth!” TAKE Barnum (you know these two-line ini- tials certainly take up a lot of room!). Say, what in heck was I talking about? Oh, y' Sweden! Well, take Sweden then—no, that wasn’t it—it was speak- ! (Aw, you knew it all the time!) SPEAKEASIES are timid little things and must be approached with | it might be a {I HERE’S HOW | great caution. One good way is to take a lump of sugar (it must be a sweet lump) and, holding it be- tween the thumb and first finger, approach the speak- easy on tiptoe. W sugar up HEN the little hole in the Id the lump of (mind you, sweet!) and the person behind the door will reach out his hand for it. When he begins to nibble on it, whisper in his ear that you are a great friend of Joe Smilch’s and that if he'll let you in you'll let him finish the lump of sugar. it must be JEDGE JR., 7 West 43rd St, New York City. Dear Junior: Send me a copy of yo low speakeasy. Ps cially cighte SILL another | ARESER | joe SMi-CH AND I uM BER NOTHER « wood way is to lie ina small basket in front of the door and pre tend you are abandonec an Bootleg very tender hearted = and can’t resist a little baby, if she's about en. good way is to ** take a cat and make him, or her, stand in front of the door and meow. ‘The proprietor will look through the little round hole in the door and say “Seat! This | will cause his false teeth to fly out i (through the hole) and he will have to open the door to retrieve them, unless, course, he of owns u retriever, and as you know, very few bootle s own such a dog because they eat such a great deal especially on Thursdays, which is the maid's day out, and besides | they have awfully nasty disposi | tions. THE simplest way, and what I \ should have t only I wanted to the coupon, is to “Here's How” sti great-coat that you are a re and T won't I'm enclosing a dollar for it pocket, or will know id you long ago get you down to have a copy of cking out of your nd the pro immediately gular guy have have to go in any comicbooks.com