Judge — March 19, 1927 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE An Important Conversation (In 1950, Dr. Pupin predicts, Earth will be talking to the Sun) Sun—Hello, Earth. Earth—Hello, Sun. Sun—How : Earth—P retty the same place! Still in —You - still with the same people Earth—Yep, same pecple, same orbit. Sun—How are they all down your w Earth—Pretty fair—except that I’ve had a fever blister in my europe and quite a deal of trouble with my pana canal, Sun—That’s too I'm a bit troubled with freckles myself. Earth—B’r'rr—so I noticed! Sun—Well, if here isn’t old man Moon! So long, Earth. If you ever do get out of your rut, run up my way, why don’t you? Earth—Suffering Doomsday— not me! So long, Sun, Cyrit B. Ecan > é) DENISE I LOVE you WHISPERED LORD ASHBURTON HOTLY Just a moment, folks, and I'll throw the nickelodeon into gear; let’s go! A teacher making a small benny memo- rize a piece. Finally she said, “Now are you sure you have it all down pat?” “Heh, heh, heh!” snickered the pupil coy- ly. “I fooled you! My name ain’t Pat; it’s Morton Rosen- thal!” Sing Sing would be too good for this little pneumonia. HOW TO MAKE LOVE By S. J. Perelman Figure 1 Second Lesson Ove of the most fascinating kinds of LOVE—and there are many fascinating kinds—is OUTDOORS LOVE. In this lesson we shall discuss the two most important kinds of OUT- DOORS LOVE—OCEAN LOVE and PASTURE LOVE. Figure 1 (especially posed for Jupce by Ward McAllister and Nancy Marchbanks of the “Black Crook” Company) two LOVERS are shown in a stout skiff, or yawl, gliding smoothly over the green waters of the of Fundy. Ward, an expe sailor, has taken his ‘“inamorata” out in his stalwart barkantine and there proposes to declare himself in tender, passionate speeches. But first a sailor, he has furled sail and thrown the one oar over the bow in true ship-shape fashion. Now he has taken ey’s hand and is pressing it lightly; she, sensing that Ward is about to say something, has gone on talking in her own sweet woman’s way. But Ward, glanc- ing over her shoulder, sees the ominous periscope of a German submarine, or Unterseeboot, and is wondering whether he can escape unnoticed with the valu- able cargo of peach-pits he is running through the lines for the Allies. “Take that cigarette out of your mouth, you swab!” he orders Nancy. “Don’t you know that if those Huns see us, we will be torpedoed?” “What Huns?” asks Nancy affrightedly. “Heh, heh, heh! I fooled you!” cries Figure Ward. “You thought there were some Huns there, but there weren't none AT ALL! Were you seared?” In Figure 2 (also specially posed for Jupce ybil Grife and “Dopey Benny” Fein) two LOVERS are shown demon- ASTURE LOVE, the kind of OUTDOORS It is spring, and in the ground we see the lush un dergrowth of ferns, anemones, and old rubber heels that makes up the forest. Sybil and Benny are arrayed in their best clothes, and the best is none too good. Benny has his hat at a rakish angle, suggesting the “devil-may- care” clubman and raconteur that Sybil, who likes to be thought a bit fast, has slanted her new hat by Reboux, over her right thus cleve concealing the it side of her head is completely bald. Benny has just asked Sybil if she knows why firemen wear red suspenders, and in answer to Sybil’s interro- gation has retorted, “To hold up their Silly!” We may well these two carefree LOVERS, holding each other's hands as the sunset slowly tints the west and a solitary bird wings homeward. And now that we have that finished, let’s tear out for a good stiff hot grog. I’m parched! Don’t miss next week's sensa- tional lesson, “She Thought It Was the Milkman!” A riot of clean fun! Order your copy Now! comicbooks.com