Judge — March 19, 1927 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Dear Judgette: I tried to write you and tell you what I think of you and your rummy brother, but I just cou!dn’t—I just ain't got the gift of letters so I took my pen in hand and this is my idea of how you look— Frankie... there is no doubt but what the young artist has a great deal of talent and I’m sure if he took up the study of art seriously he’d mi i cess at it! ... a of what I look like is all wrong! . in the first place I never wear my skirts that long and the fur boa! Ye Gods! .. . how- ever, I must admit that the sketch of Junior is remarkably true! S eS A boy who writes that he is house-partying in Boston wants to know why I am so hot about George Olsen’s . . . which is rather a difficult question . . . why do you like anything? .. . probably it’s the crowd more than anything else . . . if the crowd is good the place is good .. . n’est-ce pas? oS eS I understand that the Biltmore lobby is called the Princeton Ex- tension Institute! se Suppose everyone is doing the “Ask me another” stuff days ... there’s one question I'd like to ask too . . . who ever started the fooi thing? > a ad Junior said I could do a book review once in a while if I’d start in with a criticism of “Here's How” ... what an opening! ... To my mind, it’s all wet! ... some people may get a kick out these of it but it left me absolutely cold . .. the plot is an old one, the characters are very wild, and there is no heart interest . . . how do you like them apples, Junior! “Hot Saturday,” by Harvey Ferguson, is very good light read- ing and is a marvelous study of small-town w and people... Isa Glenn’s “Little Pitchers” is a delightful story which peeks at life through the eyes of children and makes us grown-ups (p! get the “us grown-ups”) appear very ridiculous. The Six Best Steppers “Kingcachu” (Rio Rita) “Wear Your Sunday Smile” (Judy) “Somebody Else” (Your's Truly) Ai Ai” (no show) “Lovin’ Off My Mind” (Bye Bye, Bonnie) “High in the Hills” (no show) Little Translations into English What they say they said: “You're nothing but a dumb cop! I was going sixty miles an hour, see, and if you get fresh about it I’ll tell my friend Mayor Kelly to break you, you thick bull! Out of my way!” “If I don’t get a raise of at least twenty dollars a week, you and your company can look for a new bookkeeper. I’m a valuable man here and I know it.” “No, thanks, I never touch a drop of liquor any more. The stuff you get nowadays isn’t fit to drink. No, thanks. “No, Clifford, you can’t kiss me. I feel that you do not know me well enouglt. Besides, it’s so unsanitary.” What they really said: “Please, please, officer, my wife is ill and I going no more than twenty miles an hour. If you'll let me go this time, I'll never violate a traffic rule again.” “Would I be asking too much, Mr. Lane, if I requested just a slight increase in salary? Please grant this to a faithful, old em- ployee.” “Will I have a little drink? Does a fish swim? Does a bird fly? Oh, boy!” “Am I really the first girl you have ever kissed?” Mmmmmm! —A.L.L. comicbooks.com