Judge — March 5, 1927 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

We are in a quandary . . . from the letters coming in, most of the readers of this supposedly fem- inine column seem to be men!.. . next week I think I'll cover a prize fight and see if I can’t in- terest a few of the girls! . . . and, My Dear, the ones that do come in from the gentler (?) s aes they must think we have a long gray beard! aS Listen to this one! ... “Dear Judgett I am a young girl of brown hair, seventeen and Grand Rapids, Mich. I have been keep- ing company with two boys and it seems I really don't know which one I should be in love with. I- wrote to Pola Negri, Wallace Beery and Queen Marie but haven’t heard from them yet. Now, Miss Judgette, one of these fellows is real swell with a mus- tache and a job and is a real spender and the other one is awful romantic, only Baptist and has an inheritance coming to him and is going to get a car when he gets it only he doesn’t know when he’ll get it as it is coming to him when his Uncle dies and his Uncle isn’t very sick as it seems he just swam the English Channel. Hope you will tell me to be in love with the fellow who has the mustache as it seems I can’t bear the other fellow—Palpitating.” ... Palpitating, my heart goes out to you! My advice is “yes!” ... if there’s anything else I can do, just write to Aunty Judgette. <> The last gasp in trimmings is to have belt, flower and buttons to match . . . all made out of alli- gator hide . ttractive ... (this is not men’s fashions !). JUDGE A new and very smart compact —it’s a suede folder, which re- sembles a tobacco pouch and holds a comb, rouge, powder and lipstick, Played an interesting game the other night . . . everybody makes out a list of ten things they like and the same number of things they don’t like . .. the lists are read aloud and the results are amazing ... what a chance for a psychoanylist ! ~ The Six Best Sellers “Wear Your Sunday Smile” (Judy) “Muddy Waters” (no show) “Rio Rita” (Rio Rita) “A Little Musie in the Moon- light” (no show) “What Does It Matter” (no show) “Falling in Love” (no show) Joe The Shoelace Industry Years ago nobody wore shoe- laces—in fact, they had not been invented. People went around with their shoes flapping — fre- quently the shoes came off and were lost. What with the conse- quent embarrassment and expense and all, why, things were in a pretty bad way. Mr. Shuttleworth Shoelace pondered the problem and finally hit upon the idea of a fastener which he decided to give his own name. He set to work almost im- mediately with the few tools he had and by the end of a month he had constructed his first shoelace. It was indeed a crude affair, but it worked and Mr. Shoelace sold it to a one-legged man for $2. As is the way of all new inventions, the laces were frowned upon. People were skeptical. “How do I know they won't break down?” and “Where can I get parts?” were two of the com- monest questions you ever heard tell of. Mr. Shoelace was laughed at from all sides—mostly from the east side—and some wag gave rise to the expression: “What are you trying to do, string me?” A year later, metal tips were added to the laces and _ sales jumped like a pedestrian. The advertising slogans, “Tie Up With Shoelaces— Best in the Long Walk” and “Try to Break a Shoelace—It’s Easy,” are famous. ast year,” said Mr. Shoe- lace with a chuckle, “I made and sold over a hundred million pairs of shoelaces.” Can you tie that? Hypocnonpriac—I wonder if I dare ask what nerve-tonic they use? comicbooks.com