Judge — February 19, 1927 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE If the tabloid papers were small enough to fit the mentality of their readers. The Girl Friend ‘ Ts papersa putting on quita act ova is ear now Miss Tulsa, wherever ats at, bein crowned M . I suppose er ma divorced a town an a country, so she changes er name, like my ma did, ony they dint make such a fuss ova ma’s bust with tha ol man. “All jokin inny alley tho at girl aughta be crowned. Gotta oppin- ion ofa dame at takes a walkinna hankachiff sos a buncha of bozos kin giva tha upan down. I betta ony guys cun get fa judgesa nem contess is boids at cant do nothin else no more but judge. Or elsa boids at likes mock toitel soop an near beer. Them are the sorta guys at if they wuz men would say, “Oh, we aint buying we're juss out ta look today.’ Ale all get see-sick some day an fine out it it sa good to wear too strong gla: “An ease ear hometown misses. Ay all wore hoops-skirts back inna sticks an nen ay come to Allannic City in a outfit at if ey evva got tin a strip poker games with aid Submarine helmet to pro- tect wrist watch of absent- minded people. haffa skin em tacolleck a dime. “T wenna wunna tha rehoisals fer a trippa Allannic City onny air wuz a dame air at new that mayor un so I sez to meself dough he anigh ful fer them peepin Toms an I took off me bathin suit an wen home. I figgers maface sizz mafortune if eye wanna guyta see maface am I a jane ta go walkin in a boodwar cap anna pair a ovashoes ? “T coulda copped at prize at a contess ony I wuz too muchova lady an slammed a guy at wuz backin me onna kisser cause ee dint know there wuz no parkin space for it where I wuzz con- soined. “Take iss tip, sweetie, an dough go after no prize packages. Ya'll draw enuffanem juss sitting quiet- ly onya fron steps. Bear ut tin mine airs a reason why ay call em contess ony that contess between that judges anna goils anna ay both win. Acourse I aint inciner- atin anything buthen itll thin ta think about while ya getcha nails sharpind. S’long. —Carrori CarroLi 14 comicbooks.com