Judge, 1927-01-22 · page 9 of 36
Judge — January 22, 1927 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire Analysis **"Why Go to College?"** mocks the value of higher education through ironic first-person testimony. The author claims he saved money by skipping college, yet lists equivalents he gained anyway: commuting replaces track team, crowded subways equal football conditioning, a neighbor's saxophone substitutes for sleep deprivation, workplace "Greek" lectures replace math courses. The punchline—being "rushed by the Ku Klux Klan" instead of fraternities—satirizes both college social hierarchies and the KKK's disturbing 1920s-era social prominence. The cartoon "Chorus" depicts figures with mange, visually reinforcing the piece's theme that college-free life involves the same hardships repackaged. **"Vision"** parodies college fundraising priorities. A college president's wife urges him to invest money wisely for returns. When he proudly reports spending on football players ("tackles, an end and three backs"), she celebrates—revealing that institutional "investment" means athletic recruitment, not academics. The statue caption reinforces the critique: prestigious institutions lack meaningful monuments while prioritizing sports programs. Both pieces satirize American colleges' emphasis on athletics and social life over genuine education.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Why Go to College? I sAVED hundreds of dollars and four years of my life by not going to college, and I can’t say that I've missed anything. I have a brother who wears my tux, ties shirts, and who borrows, perma- nently, all my spare 3 a friend who passes out on me at every social function; and a bootlegger who sup- plies me with gin of a quality that can’t be lower on any campus in the country. socks and I've dashed for the seven twenty- eight every morning, and the fi thirteen every evening, for fiv: which is equivalent to four years on a track team; I’ve jammed my way into crowded subw twice a day during those five years, which is equal to four seasons on a varsity football team; and a neighbor prac- tices on a saxophone every night until 2 , so that I stay up, on the average, as late as any college student. What have I missed? T have an imitation bearskin coat; a big head every Sunday morning; a friend who owns a battered and topless Ford; and a girl who keeps me broke. The evening paper requires about the same amount of time as any collegian’s study; my income tax blank makes up for the lost math. course, and my work at the office is all Greek to me. My boss gives me lectures every morning about it. What have I missed? Oh, yes, a fraternity. Well—I’m being rushed by the Ku Klux Klan. Gurney Williams, Jr. e- years, ryt A statue that belongs on every campus in the land and is found on none. Cuorus—After you with the Mange Cure. Vision HE president of Dishwater Col- lege worked earnestly for the good of his institution but failure always seemed to pursue him. ‘The trouble with you is that you spend your money foolishly,” chanted his wife. “Always try to invest it so that it brings the best return to you and the college.” The next day his annual salary check arrived. A week afterwards his better half assailed him. “And what have you got to show for your money?” she asked. He turned upon her and retorted triumphantly: “Two tackles, an end and three bac s for next year. That’s what I’ve got.” “Hooray!” she cried. “At last you’ve learned!” Parke Cummings comicbooks.com