Judge — January 15, 1927 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Our Dumb Friends very little man jack of us ought EK to give a bird to the thought— pardon us, a thought to the bird—that sings outside his or her window. Take the oriole, for instanc What do you know about the oriol Answer, practically nothing. The oriole is a herbivorous mammal shaped like a bird which li in trees and often annoys camels. Now take the cat; the common i “tabby” whom you call or “Mouser” or “Diph- or anything. We ell, what do you know about cats? if I were to tell you one-half of what I know about ci you'd stop eating catnip. Or ear-w or tit-mice, or even ear-wig: By the way, there is a good story about an ear-wig. It seems he was on the road at the time and was forced to spend the night at a farmer’s house. The farmer’s wife was quite young and pretty . . . let’s see, how does that go? Well, well, guess I've for- gotten it. But about birds. Re- member, children, look after the birds. If you will send five cents in Chinese stamps to this department, we will send you a good story about an oriole. Brave Deeds of Bright Boys HE handy boy around the house need never find time hanging heavy on his hands. So many useless things can be made if one only has a hammer, two pounds of wire nails and thirty pieces of silver. First, take a piece of rope about an inch thick and three feet long. Then drive a stout nail into the wall. Fasten the rope to the nail and tie a lasso knot in the end that hangs down. Now get up on a chair and fasten the knot over your head just below the ears. Then kick away the chair and watch the fun; this interesting hobby will occupy even the most restless boy a whole afternoon if nobody interferes. A more complex wa oneself takes place as follows: Take out both halves of one of the win- dows in the parlor. Then balance the piano on the edge of the window of amusing Puzzle: Find the policeman. and wait till you see several people approaching. Now shout like every- thing, preferably good clean or new swear words. As the people gather under your window to learn the new words, push the piano out with a deft turn of the wrist. This always gets a big laugh and is sometimes called ‘Tease the Coroner.” For the girls, there are also many new forms of fun. One good method is to bake a pie and use a handful of sharp tacks instead of apple or mince for filling. It is a good idea to use shortening to prevent any possible indigestion. Oriole disguised as a woodpecker. The Kiddies’ Own High Hat A“ the little members down on Long Island are getting the thrill of their lives out of a new sport. It’s called ‘‘Installments” and it sure is just one great big peach of a game. Here’s the way you play it: You go into a furniture store and pay down a dollar or two on a radio or a vic, or, in fact, any- thing. As soon as it’s delivered, you move av from your present ad- dress; then you keep on moving every time you get a letter from the store. The trick is in losing the store finally. A good stiff jail sen- tence makes it peppy... . Sounds the berries... . Try it and let me know whether the food is good in the Tombs. ... Went down recently to a swell new night club in Somerville over in Jers More fun . They have a thing rigged up like a courtroom with law) n every- thing and the entertainers are perfect! ... I nearly laughed my little head off over a crack about a hog woman or something. They serve a drink called “Oh, Murder”... and believe me. ... It’s made out of potato parings, pre-canceled stamps, and evaporated milk, with just enough cyanide to give it a taste... talk about a kick! Everybody's raving about this new dance called the “Charlestein” or some funny name like that . . . haven’t seen it yet, but they tell me it’s better than being Steinached + came across a good book the other day ... name of it’s Care of the Dog, and it had some of the best mange remedies I’ve seen yet. I tried them but they burned my throat ...ha, ha... . The Hidden-horses Club is going along fine. . . . A gent in West Orange, N. J., came through with a letter claiming there’s a horse somewhere up there but he hasn’t seen it yet... . Bill Gunn up in Providence says they have a drink up there called a “Horse’s Neck” and also a number of boys in thecollege by the same name . . . quit the kiddin’, Bill . . . we knew it all the time! Perelman comicbooks.com