Judge — January 1, 1927 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Customer—Here, what do you mean by that sign in your window, “Oysters B in season”? Butcuer—Why, oysters be in sea- son in September, October, November, December, Bjanuary, February, Bmarch and Abril. —Yatr Recorp What He Wanted Was Action A tourist who had stopped at a mountaineer’s cabin down in the Ozarks, noticed four holes in the door. Tourist—Friend, I do not like to be too inquisitive, but what are the four holes in your door for? Mountaineer—Wal, yo’ see, I has four cats. “But wouldn’t one good-sized hole do for all the cats?” “H—l, when I say ‘Scat!’ I mean “Seat!” —Kansas Sour Owl Pala “Hear about Jack? Went out too far in the ocean and drowned.” “It surfs him right.” —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl RurFian. Rurrian—Plised ta mitcha. -Witiiams Purpte Cow Still Further Remodeling “Who was that lady I seen you with last night?” “That was my si “Does she nec er-in-law.” —Colorado Do Do “Did you barely escape from that fire last night?” “No, I had my pyjamas on.” —N. Y. U. Mepiey The Old Soak Speaks It was been, been, been, Where the devil have I been, That I’m lying in mud up to my chin? Though I’ve weighed you, By the dirty scum that made you, You're a better man than I am, Gor- don Gin! —Columbia Jester tested you, and sae Tramp—Have you a piece of cake, lady, to give a poor man who hasn’t had a bite for two days? “Cake? Isn’t bread good enough for you?” “Ordinarily, yes ma’am, but this is my birthday.” —Pitt Panther Or Even Rarer Alla—What is so rare as a day in June? Gazzam—A charity bazaar in Scot- land. sae Banjo players get three dollars an hour. That’s pretty easy picking. —Cincinnati Cynic sae A certain man was suspected by his wife of receiving phone calls from other women. About twelve o'clock one night the following conversation could be heard: Husband—Hello, Elmer. “Ts this you, Elmer?” You are, Elmer ves, I would, Elmer.” ‘tainly I will, Elmer.” “No, Elmer, all right, Elmer.” “Of course I will, Elmer.” turned to his sus- ious wife and said: “That was Elmer, dear.” —Missouri Outlaw sae Laundries charge big prices be- cause they have to hire extra help for pulling off buttons. —Kansas Sour Owl Her—So your father lost all his for- tune in the peanut industry? Hin—Yes, some one stole the stand. —Nortu Caroitna BuccaNEER comicbooks.com