Judge — January 1, 1927 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The I’s Have It WONDER who started that. rumor that the hand is quicker than the I. It must have been a deaf mute. Why, the I is the quickest thing | in the known world! Give it even a ghost of a chance—just barely open your mouth—and there it is, trem- bling on the tip of your tongue, all ready for action. It’s the very heart of conversation, which, even to this very con- ducted according to the Mosaic law. The old rule of an I for an I still holds good. Without the I and its conversational give and take—es- pecially its giv you couldn't hold your own in any society function. The 1 is that saving element which prevents conversation from becoming an art and which, at the same time, keeps plain talk such a comfort. It’s very good in gossip, too. No matter what the topic, I's s in it, as in egotistic. | Ever notice how many I's there are in inquisitive? Well, I want to | know! Quite an I-ful, huh? Musicians usually tune up by sounding A. Conversationalists pre- fer to sound I. Even movie actors use it; they're not so dumb as they look on the sereen. They've learned which pro- noun always takes the capital. We have to be taught to mind our P’s and Q's, but instinct tells us what to do with our I’s. All in favor of keeping conditions as they are, say I. Douglas Turney GO TELL YO’ MASTER: THAT A SOUTHRON DOESNOT KNOW WHAT SURRENDER” MEANS?! STORMED MAJOR YANCY «x Good morning, lads and lasses, are all the little dopes and coke-eaters here? Then let's start in right away. Here's another one of those tiresome schoolroom jokes. ““Now, Cashmere,” says the teacher, “what is an average?” “Oh, that's a thing hens lay eggs on!” answers the little girl in her womanly way. “You're drunk!” replies Miss Fever. “How do you make that out?” “Well, sweepings,” parries Cas! “I read in a book where hens lay one egg a day on an average!” Miss Fever very nearly got the ague. fashions aren’t : themselves out of a job some day. st shouldn’t. They call him Otto, be- cause he’s always running people down. Judge pays $5 for each one printed If the folks who dictate women’s eful, they'll work People who live in glass houses OIRZY WES comicbooks.com