Judge — December 18, 1926 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Ballad of Hazy Remem- | brance (The Sentiment is Strong, but the Memory Weak), I REMEMBER, I remember, Though not so very well, | The little house where I was born, And where I used to dwell. I think the house was painted red, vbe it was brown; rate, it matters not: | rouse has been torn down, I remember, [ remember The stairs so tall and wide; I think they were out on the porch, Or else they were inside. IT remember well the chimney, At least I think I do; ‘There must have been one on the roof Or maybe there were two. I remember, I remember The parlor and the hall; Though which was which is difficult For me now to recall. The bedrooms and the dining-room, The kitchen and the sink; DM FOR'AVNICE (STIFE SHOT OF ete te tine ana GROGTENVIED) LITTLE'JOEY. I heard three hot ones at a smoker last Tuesday night, but they're too funny for words, and besides, I forgot the words. But this is the one about the prosperous gent and the street arab. Said the gent, “Here, my boy, take this dime, you look deserving.” “Absolutely no!” replied “Hot Stuf” Mulligan. “And why not?” queried the gent in surprise. “I know your kind,” replied the lad. “As soon as I take the dime, I gotta promise And what I do remember is to grow up and be President, and kiddo, I ain't signin’ no contracts!” Most like incorrect. Only an undertaker could get a laugh out of this one. R. C. O'Brien I remember, I remember, Much less than I forget About the house where I was born; I see it dimly yet. ‘ young, you know; giving his kindly smile to passers-by. “Hey, you, no loitering,” snarled a passing policeman. A stray shot from a gunman’s pis- tol went through the crown of my hat. A passing motorcycle spat- tered me with mud. Somebody in the apartment house above dropped an empty whisky bottle on my head. Then something hit me with a dull i thud and when I awoke I found | myself in a spotless room, redolent with the odor of antiseptics. “What happened?” I asked the nurse. “Be very calm until your fever goes down,” she whispered, “you were run over by one of the auto- mobile trucks of the Nu Way Rapid “You're charged with having burned three houses, resisted five officers Shoe Repairing Corporation.” and broken out of jail twice, what’s your defense?” Arthur L. Lippmann “Your Honor—I jest overcame my inferiority complex.” L 15 comicbooks.com