Judge — December 11, 1926 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “rf a Everybody's Religion Dear Jupce: Your recent effusion on the farmer and his woes fairly leaves one gasping for breath. Were it not so evident that on this subject (as well as on Prohibition), you are “all wet,” there would be cause for alarm. But really and seriously, I am surprised that you are so out of touch with the spiritual regeneration that has been taking place in this fair land. We of the hinterland have always looked upon you as repre- senting alselect'section of the intelligentsia, and it is surely a shock to learn that you are unaware that the clodhoppers have been infected with the same views of the new order as the Realtors and Electragists and other erstwhile lowly (but urban) folk, who have sought, and apparently found, a place in the sun. Did you, for a moment, think that the Cult of Service, the Religion of Success, the Doctrine of Reward here on Earth, the vision of a Place in the Sun, had left the rural population untouched? Or did you merely wish it had? The trouble is not alone with the Farmer's Religion, it’s with everyone's religion, the Catholic workman is just as insistent on an earthly reward as is the “Puritan” farmer. The very funda- mentals of our religious life are changing and in no way can we escape the social and political consequences of the change. I suggest that you lay off your belly- aching about Prohibition and rural un- rest and devote your undoubted abilities to helping us adjust our lives to our new religion, and don't forget that we are very much a unified nation and urban thinking is not per se in advance of rural ability to comprehend. Yours very truly, Fairmont, W. Va., Andrew Stroud October 28, 1926. “Henry Crashes Through,” eh? Dear W. M. H.: Your editorial, “Henry Crashes Through,” was a master- piece of propaganda. But it was a dud as to logic—really I am disappointed. On the strength of your editorial fs. Thave deserted Wayne B. (I always {was dry and have bolted the Methodist Church, hard seats), However, getting back to Henry. Little did I dream of ever seeing the day when the cold-blooded slayer of Bunk, W. M. H., would be taken in on such a thing as Henry's economic philosophy. Henry made hismillions with a mechan- ical atrocity, and now it appears his economic theories are to be as popular as his car—and to have the same life—a season. Listen, boy friend, Henry has already tried out his theory. He had paid a premium for his labor, worked it three to five days a week, and worked it twice as hardasanyoneelse. Where is the advan- tage of paying $6 a day, but three days a week over six days at $3? Further, has it occurred to you that Henry approves a short week because he cannot sell a full week's product? A sheet tell you why rather than G. M comparison bet and that of € “Hen Aside from that I am with you. day ven Ford's sates ral Motors will Crashes Through” One less for work, one day more devoted to thirst will hasten the day when we can split the bottle of Burgundy rather than absorbing the putrid concoctions advocated by Denver, Colo. October 28, 192 To the Judge, Jr Yours, IE. ‘Times Have Changed Editor of Juv Sullivan For years I had been laboring under the impr sion that June and a certain weekly of similar aim were about equal in their pretense at humor. time, as a boy, when the ma deposit on the garbage can yard, an’ Jupce (“Whatta—!"), and Householder—Here’s a penny. This is Butcher—Carol be blowed! Time after man would n the front the Tak Sears-Roebuck catalog, with what zest would I devour the pink pages showing buxom lasses in the latest st forced cot Only, After I had been confirmed and intro- duced to long trousers and Holland gin, whenever a friend from the would drop over for a visit and ask. (after first having a more important question answered), “Big boy, ain't you- all got no funny papers over heah, no- how?” I would merely yawn and hand him a copy of the “Hagerstown Almanac,” with a page creased at “Conundrums for the Young and the Old But those ays are no more. After weathering the he World Safe for Democracy,” . The Methodist Board of Temperance and Public (yours and mine, brother) Morals, and two parades of the Ku Klux Klan, I have found to lighten my declining years, a new Juvce. A Jvupce that is pene- trating, cman, and funny with a dash of papri If you don't think you're good, try counting the number of letters that you have received harassed old women of both sexes. Washington, D. C., Respectfully, October 23, 1926. M. P. Healey P.S.: Pardon errors in composition and punctuation, I have just been glancing through the cook's copy of the Dial. from your carol somewhere else. y bill for four pound nineteen Humorist comicbooks.com }