Judge, 1926-12-04 · page 5 of 36
Judge — December 4, 1926 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Page This page contains Christmas-themed humor from an unknown date (likely early 20th century based on style). **"Add Hyms of Hate"** is a janitor's complaint poem listing irritants: dangerous cigars, gift neckties, patronizing wealthy patrons (specifically referencing Mrs. Kennedy's "new crescent" diamonds), bulging trash baskets, drunken tenants, complaints from tenants, and modern electric conveniences. The satire targets both wealthy residents' obliviousness and the new technology's inconveniences. **"Alleged Comedian"** shows a poorly-dressed man claiming he lacks Christmas stockings, a lead pencil—obvious lies suggesting he's panhandling. **"Well-Known X's"** is wordplay listing "ex-" terms: ex-champions, ex-wives, ex-perts, exercise, exhibits, excess, X-ray, etc. The humor targets class tensions, domestic complaints, and modern inconveniences typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE TOTES NG PT EO Add Hyms of Hate I AM a janitor. I hate Christmas. I hate the dangerous looking cigars that the benevolent tenants in my house force upon me. I hate the gift neckties that are magnanimously bestowed upon me by gentlemen in the house who have received several of the same color. 8 I hate the patronizing light in \E)! wealthy Mrs. Kennedy’s eyes (apart- { 14 ment 4D) when she sweetly presents {me with a nice crisp dollar bill t¥t (they're always crisp) and gurgles, of “I'm sure you'll buy something very ] & useful with this.” } kc I hate the bulging trash baskets, ‘i the filled garbage pails and the empty liquor bottles on the dumb-waiter. T hate the hurry calls to come right up to apartments to fix Juniors’ new toys which the young destruction- ists have succeeded in wrecking by ten o'clock on Christmas morning. T hate the friendly “merry, merry Christmas” from tenants who have recently written letters of complaint —— to the owner about me. T hate the blown-out fuses caused by new electric trains, new electric irons, new electric toasters and new electric gadgets of all kinds. I hate Christmas. I am a janitor. A, L. L. ALLEGED CoMED Gei—I had no stockings to hang up Xmas “What were you expecting—a lead pencil?” Well-Known X’s S jampions. i“ Sport Ex-perts. 4 Ex-it. “ag on i Ex-hibits. ii X-ray. oS} Ex-aminations Madame X. Miss X. FAS AES If two people get mad at each other and feel like fighting both should 3 count to one hundred. But the fel- CHRISTMAS HINTS— low who does the counting by tens Wonder what Dad wants? will get over the first crack. Can SSSA ES comicbooks.com