Judge — November 13, 1926 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Opposing football squad adapt the bell bottom trouser and smuggle the ball over the line in them. Dumb Dora's Old Man ums Dora's herited. She gets it from her old man. Once he accidently punctured a condensed milk can on the bottom and he was afraid to put it down for fear it would spill. When he undresses he takes his shirt off before his collar and tie. He wouldn't garters around his neck simply because he thinks it would make him round- shouldered. He butters the outside of a sand- wich. Christmas Eve or not, he hangs his socks on the mantlepiece. He once heard writers got paid by the word, so he thinks letter carriers get paid by the letter. He doesn’t think explorers deserve credit for finding the North Pole. “All they gotta do.” he says, “is keep goin’ North all the time and they can't miss i dumbness is’ in- wear his Nevertheless, in spite of his dumb- ness, he gets royalties from the pub- lishers of the Book of Knowledge. They got their idea from him. ‘Tom Foolery joanah was pinched for reckless ng the other day.” “Couldn't she move the cop who pinched her?” “Yes, that’s the trouble—she moved him about twenty feet. Not Necessary If you think you're important, remember this: lot of men famous a century ago have weeds growing on their graves to-day. Customer—See here, tailor, you haven't put any pockets in. these pants, Tailor—No, sir. Judging from here, T didn't. think you had anything to put in ‘em. ey your account Many a tight nut has been loosened up by a sinall wench. QUICK DOPE HIDE THE SWAG WHISPERED: LITTLE JENNYZ SOME HIGH JINKS Rarely does one get ax hearty a chuckle as this one arising out of an Derek: Kornsweet, thirteen, of 1824 Highlands avenue, the Bronx, remarked to his barber, “S. minds me of the old family album at home.” “And how is that?” inquired good old Bones. “Well, it's so full of ugly mugs!” thrust back Derek The coroner pronounced it second degree murder. episode in a barber shop. fella, this place sure re- sociably. comicbooks.com