Judge, 1926-10-30 · page 5 of 36
Judge — October 30, 1926 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three distinct humorous pieces: **"I Hate Water"** presents a personal essay by Marion E. Burns about aversion to water—she's "not anti-Prohibition" but dislikes bathing and water-related activities. The humor relies on characterizing her as someone who avoids basic hygiene while claiming not to oppose alcohol prohibition. **"The Panacea"** describes preparations for European travel disrupted by seasickness. The accompanying cartoon shows a large uniformed figure (appears to be a ship's officer or authority figure) with smaller figures around him, captioned "Big Moments: Asking a question of the private secretary of an apartment house doorman"—satirizing bureaucratic absurdity. **"Broadcasting"** cartoon depicts figures with what appears to be early radio equipment, likely satirizing the emerging broadcasting industry as offering financial opportunities for professional football players. The page reflects 1920s American humor about Prohibition, travel anxieties, and new technology.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 1 Hate Water I simpLy abhor the slightest contact with water. T hate it because [fear it. Water holds for me the st measure of dread imaginabl Tam not anti-Prohibition. Neither am Ta soap-weary child, who is subjected to constant and un- ceasing scrubbir yet am Da tramp, that water should bring upon me such gripping tear Tam a bathing beauty Marion BE. Burn te The Panacea asters I ast month T decided to go to 4 Europe. EF planned it all) very = carefully. Made my reservations, had my passport viséd, did a lot of = shopping. got my trunks packed and sub-let my apartment. In fact, everything was nicely arranged anid only one thing bothered me. Tam very susceptible to seasickness. Then [ met Harry. Harry is a cosmopolitan and he told me there was only one solution, he said that he had tried every known remedy and the only thng that was any good was to take a few drinks before going aboard. Harry told me this the day before I was to sail and it worked like a charm. T wasn’t the least bit sea- BIG MOMENTS fact, I missed the boat. JOS. ug a question of the private secretary of an apartment house sick and Thad a marvelous time. In Reward Nnere is but little man ean ask, If he but do his daily task. Conduct his life on proper lines And stnile if heaven rains or shines There is but little man can If he but wear ar Conduct his life be grets And there's but little that he gets Carroll Carroll this. that or the other thin my girl is so dumb she think anything. BROADCASTING om A fool and his flivver are Another financial possibility for professional foothall players, carted, comicbooks.com