Judge, 1926-09-04 · page 5 of 36
Judge — September 4, 1926 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis: Judge Magazine This page contains three distinct humor sections: 1. **"Dizzy Labels"** - A joke about calling someone "Al" because "he's short for alimony," satirizing divorce culture and alimony payments. 2. **"Random Notes on Channel Swimmers"** - Reports on 1920s English Channel swimming attempts, including Miss Marie Hazeltie's training and Lieutenant Petrenius B. Schmultz's disqualification for eating three cakes of Ivory soap beforehand. This mocks the era's amateur endurance athletes and their eccentric preparations. 3. **"Krazy Kracks"** - A Valencia joke and a Labor Day Parade cartoon showing fancy automobiles (likely Rolls-Royces), satirizing wealth disparities and working-class aspirations during the post-WWI period. The page reflects Jazz Age social commentary on divorce, sports fads, and class divisions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| “They call him Al.” Because “he’s short for alimony.” Judge pays $5 or each one printed. Random Notes On the Channel Swimmers B' DATZANOTHER STOREIGH, famous Siamese swimmer, slipped into the dark, formidable waters at Cape Gris t 8 o'clock this morning, mean Greenwich time. He was quickly rescued, however, by a couple of lifeguards. Miss Mazie Haizey, the fair Ameri- can swimmer who has been rehearsing on the beach here all summer, stated to-day that she will make her final attempt next Sunday night. Miss Haizey said, in explanation of her revised plans, that she has found one can get further in the dark. Lieut, Petroneus B. Schmaltz, of the automatic horse marines, was disqualified yesterday as he passed the three-mile limit in his widely- heralded Channel swim. One of the judges noticed Lieutenant Schmaltz frothing at the mouth, and a closer in- DRIVER. IM A STRANGER. \ IN PHILADELPHIA, JUST HERE FOR THE SESQUI- CENTENNIAL, -IM LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME, CAN YOU TAKE ME \ TO THENIGHT LIFEPA | 43) \I AS \ Give a sentence withthe ward } Valencia A vestigation revealed that he KRADYANSRAGCKS) “Ask mea ques- tion and I Valen- cia.” of Ivory soap before NewcomMer—What division of the Labor Day Parade is this? “Bricklayers. Don’t you know Rolls-Roycex when you see them?” unknown to anyone,eaten three cakes beginning his swim. He was thus debarred TT} from the chance for a clean victory, Mile. Aimée — Beaucoupe-Beau- coupe, of the Follies Bergere, is plan- ning her first attempt to swim the English Cha week. Her busi manager has announced that Mlle. Aimée will be covered with the usual preparation of linseed oil and petroleum. jelly nel for some day next — | | only. The well-known beauty ad- mits that she doesn’t know much about swimming, but she has had long experience in business. A gallery of five barges will accompany her, as far as she gets. | Vladimir Vladivostok, the Turkish | | natator from Hoboken, disappointed | an enthusiastic crowd to-day when | he failed to complete his swim | across the Channel. i |t Mr. Vladivostok, had gotten with- | | in easy sight of the British shore. — | There wasn't much going on, how- | ever, and after taking a few good | looks. the swimmer turned around and started back toward Paris. Richard S. Wallace | | = comicbooks.com