Judge — August 14, 1926 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

New Office Boy—I’ve added those figures up ten times, sir. Employer—Good boy! “And here’s the ten answers, sir! They Call It Hospitality (Continued from page 8) host, “that’s where you get stung. You take. the billiard table, and I'll take your room, for I have the key! No matter how I got it! Don’t stand on ceremony. Make ourselves at home!” Amidst the laughter of the guests at this capital joke, I ran up to the master’s room, where I immediately locked myself in. An hour later I was back in the billiard room, pound- ing my prostrate welcomer into wake- fulness with a well-stuffed pillow. “What's the matter,” he mumbled, opening his eyes. ‘What in—?” “Beg pardon”—(apology is my long suit)—‘‘a hundred pardons! A thousand pardons! I thought you had scheduled a general pillow fight for 5 a.m. You haven't? Oh, that’s for to-morrow morning? I see! A million pardons!” It was rather too bad that I should have been called back to business the next morning by an urgent telegram; still, even this feeble start at woop- sing things up, seemed to have met with success—at least so far as mine host was concerned. “Good-by,” he said wanly from the sick bed where they had deposited him shortly before noon. ‘“‘Sorry to see you go. When aren’t you coming again?” Cyril B. Egan SAD A doctor points out that a cigar which is lighted twice is poisonous. Sometimes you don’t have to light it twice to find that out. —Passing Show —Passing Show ASK ANY PAINTER A bottle of beer will make the floor look nicer. A man was going round a golf course, accompanied by his wife. He got into a bunker, and after his forty-seventh shot his wife said, “If you go on like this, everyone’ll think you're workin’ ’ere.” Fae The tramp paused outside the gate. “Clear out!” shouted the lady of the house. “I ain’t got no wood to chop. There ain’t nothing you could do here.” “But, madam, there is,” retorted the wayfarer with dignity. “I could give you a few lessons in grammar.” —Answers PAP “TI thought you were working on Bert Hoskins’s new house,”’ said the decorator’s friend. “I was going to,” replied the deco- rator, “but he and I had a row, and he said he’d put the paint on him- “Did he do it?” “Yes, that’s where he put most of it.” —Tit Bits PAH American sightseers on charabancs are said to interrupt the guides with hundreds of questions on one trip. When it is announced that the vehicle is passing a famous inn the passengers always want to know why. —London Opinion ed “The brushing of my hair,” said he, “Ts, after all, no art. I do it ‘cause I realize The best of men must part.” —Answers Shopwalker (politely)—Good morning, madam. What is it—? Wife~-How dare you speak of my husband in that manner! ~—Passing Show comicbooks.com